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June 17, 2005
And then, Kevin Bacon walks in....
I was a fan of the Producers long before it ever went on stage, back when it was a forgotten piece of early Mel Brooks filmmaking. I own both the VHS and DVD versions of the film, in fact. Why, you may ask, is that the case? Is it the over-the-top performance of Zero Mostel? No. Is it the giggle-spawning nervousness of Gene Wilder? No. Is it the overall hilarious performance of Kenneth Mars? No, but it sure as hell doesn’t hurt. No, the reason for it all can be summed up in three little words:
Springtime for Hitler
This opening musical number has to be without a doubt one of the most hilarious pieces it’s ever been my privilege to witness. It’s a multi-faceted piece of satire that is a monument to bad taste in terms of substance and subject matter. New mathematics would need to be invented to describe the directions Brooks took this bit. I mean, the Swastika-shaped kickline, the tap dancing, the glorious decorations of Nazi banners in the background as if they somehow weren’t the symbol of evil itself. And the lyrics... “Springtime for Hitler and Germany/Winter for Poland and France/Springtime for Hitler and Germany/Now Germans go into your dance!” I once caught myself singing it under my breath at a Magic tournament; all I can say is that I’m grateful someone else had saw the picture, or they’d likely have strangled me there (Magic players have very strong hands, which comes from having to shuffle constantly and, let’s face it, not having girlfriends. Many a Magic player has had to tap a few basic lands, if you know what I mean.).
So why bring this up now? Producers? Good show but old news, Chuck. Well, the thing is, Mel Brooks has really kindled in me a kind of love affair with really bad over-the-top musicals (you can look at my rendition of Pr0n: How Al Gore Invented The Internet to see that). Long have I wished for something that could hope to raise even a candle to the majesty of Springtime for Hitler. At last, I think my search has reached its end.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Casablanca!
And not just a stage production of the Humphrey Bogart classic, no-no. This is a musical version! Plus... it has tap dancing! Tap dancing Ilsa and Rick Blaine! Tap dancing Renault! Dare I even wish it... tap dancing Nazis!
I would walk over broken glass to watch tap dancing Nazis.
Bringing this little bit of insanity into the world is China Arts And Entertainment Group and Time Warner. This would be the same Time Warner that thinks Bugs Bunny needs to go to the Xtreme (as the word is misspelled across the world; dropping the “e” off is about as rebellious an act as refusing to stop wearing white after Labor Day). An Xtreme Bugs Bunny would probably perfectly round out this entire production.
The production has just finished its premiere in Beijing and is now beginning a trip to foreign shores, rather like the Chinese Army I suppose, and probably just as welcome. When it comes to bad entertainment ideas, making a musical out of a successful work in another medium is at the top of the list. I mean, it’s practically cliché. It’s an Xtreme cliché, if you will. Sometimes bad ideas just seem to emerge so suddenly, shockingly, into the light it makes you wonder if there are forces of evil deliberately behind all this. This could easily be an Austin Powers subplot when you get right down to it. So, is Time Warner hoping to follow in the Mel Brooks-inspired plan of making more money with a flop than they can with a hit? It’s possible. I’m pretty sure Rick Berman has already proven the viability of this plot.
Of course, I don’t want to seem like I’m signaling out China and the creators of Casablanca for ridicule. The United States, still hanging on to the multi-billion dollar success of James Cameron’s Titanic is now home to a musical version of Titanic. I have a feeling Old Scratch himself was involved with this one. Where will the madness stop, I ask you? Perhaps no one can answer it. All I can do is quote another all-time great musical adaptation:
I hate every ape I see
From Chimpan-a to Chimpanzee
No you’ll never make a monkey out of me.....
Posted by Chuck at June 17, 2005 06:28 PM
Comments
"I would walk over broken glass to watch tap dancing Nazis."
Best. Line. Ever. I just got strange looks from my coworkers.
Posted by: Dalton at June 18, 2005 09:01 AM
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