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May 31, 2006
So Very Brittle
Today is a lesson in why few people live in glass houses.
Bryan Lambert somehow stumbled (Update: Led by the nose more like) upon the Traviss/clone uproar. He read the thread on TheForce.net and concluded that an eight month discussion is “going too far” and the fans involved are nerds beyond redemption. He also took exception to Wayne Poe’s satirical movie Talifan. Sure, Wayne’s style is slightly less subtle than a freight train fully loaded with HMDT running full steam into a oil refinery. But like that locomotive, you can see where it came from and what its goal is.
Not quite so with Bryan. It is not clear why he finds this behavior so abhorrent, save that he seems to believe that it is wrong to critically analyze art or debate the issue with the artist; even when the artist in question freely decides to jump into the fray and then run away to cast aspersions on her opponents from the safety of her blogs or other sympathetic sites (an issue Bryan neglects to mention). But to Bryan, responding to this is taking a hobby too far.
But what is too far anyway? It really comes down to the individual. Like Brian, some may feel that drawn-out, candid debates and criticisms of art is obsessive fan-boy material. However, there are also many who feel that dressing up in costumes of cartoon characters is abnormal behavior. There are yet more who would recoil in fear of a grown man playing with dolls.
Guess which two of the three above apply to Mr. Lambert...
“If you don't carry one in your pants, you might as well carry one in your hand.”
Now normally, I don’t care how people enjoy their hobby. I imagine it could be fun to stage a little fashion show in the living room where the X-Men roll up in the back of Jonny Quest's truck to the applause of the assembled crew of Star Trek while prancing about as Brak (because I'm an open-minded kind of guy). But jeez, if you’re going to throw stones at the way I enjoy mine, move out of that house. Otherwise, allow us to enjoy our hobby as much as you clearly enjoy yours.
Edit(6/1/06):
What strikes me as the most interesting part of all this is that it is Karen Traviss who is spreading word of this debacle outside of the Star Wars community, not the fans. Does she scour the net looking for any chance to decry the terrible "persecution" she is suffering at the hands of the merciless unwashed heathen; threats and libel so onerous and widespread that no one has been able to find or cite even one example.Coupling this with her fantasies of garroting people, I have to wonder:
Is Traviss mentally disturbed?
Posted by Skayhan at 02:42 PM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2006
A Travissty
No PR is ever bad PR - Karen Traviss
Science Fiction fans are notorious for their rabid loyalty and dedication. But what obligation does the artist owe to his or her fans in return? I would venture that there is but one; do not insult them.
By "insult", I do not mean the traditional insult of putting out products such as The Matrix: Reloaded or Star Trek V, but rather, they denigrate a portion of their fan base something like this:
Except this is not a comedy and the insults are emanating from the parent company of the biggest sci-fi franchise there is. Yes, LucasFilm Ltd. is publicly insulting some of its fans. This segment in question tend to be more technically minded while enjoying the movies or books. They see the Death Star destroy a planet and ponder how powerful the weapon is. And while reading "Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic", they might wonder how only three million clone troopers can possibly wage a galaxy-wide conflict. Which brings us to the current situation.
So we start off with a traditional insult but unfortunately, it did not end there. When fans on TheForce.net began to question the veracity of the numbers, the author, Karen Traviss, attempted to personally defend it.
She failed.
So like any rational person faced with the realization that their argument is a slab of Swiss cheese, she labeled her detractors "Talifans" and claimed they have no life.
April 14, 2006
The name Talifan might be more apt than I ever thought, and rc_ghost's splendid phrase internet madrasas equally revealing.
Two key elements leap out at me: the insular nature of the deviant group, their previous normality until exposed to some idea or personal influence, and the "downward spiral" effect of them vying with each other to be more extreme - best described by former members of the Baader Meinhof gang in frank TV interviews.
This is clearly a universal phenomenon, but right now I'm not sure if I'm looking at one syndrome or a mix of aberrant behaviours manifesting similar symptoms. The internet element is a significant one in this, I feel. I get a whiff of Aspergers, OCD, religious orthodoxy, plain old normal human susceptibility, and a dozen other things.
And, yes, some of them - maybe most - might just be normal humans,and thus easily led and prone to conform.
Just like the clones*, in fact. How ironic.
But I need to unravel this.
I'll keep you abreast of what other dingbattery I unearth (every tie-in writer has a stack, I know) but at the moment I'm on the hunt for any academic who's done research into the psychology of obsession and anti-social behaviour among fans, be that in the context rock stars, actors or just grunt hacks like me.
Fascinating. Utterly fascinating. My gut reaction is that they all need garotting, but my rational self finds it all...fascinating.
(*Except the clones have sex lives. Chicks dig armour. )
I wonder if she floats the idea of killing off fans at Star Wars Insider meetings. Now, that was bad enough but when she writes on her VIP Blog on StarWars.com
Oct 6, 2005Angels, pinheads and inquisitions
I'm a bit tired of words today, so I thought I'd try an equation. It's about light and heat.
eW= ty x L /k
Where: eW = energy available (in watts)
ty = kilocalories spent in angry typing
k = opportunities wasted to do something useful in real life
L = length of the Super Star Destroyer x by systolic pressureI substituted a few numbers in that, and boy, there was a lot of wasted heat and not much light generated. I thought about getting a heat exchanger fitted, but then I tried something different.
sb = eW x r /ty
Where: sb = social benefit to real people
eW = energy available
ty = kilocalories spent typing angry responses
r = real issues requiring actionYou can see that if you reduce ty, then sb increases.
There are thousands of people in the world who would love to have no greater source of unhappiness in their lives than arguments about SSDs, GAR strengths and whether Han fired first - because they're being blown up by IEDs, or bombed, or starved, or being driven out of their homes by disasters and wars and any number of bad, real things. If the most upsetting thing that happened to them in their lives was arguing about Mara Jade's hair, they'd rejoice.Passion about fiction is great when it's fun and lighthearted, or when it provides respite or sheds light on real issues. But save your anger about it - on both sides of the argument - and channel it into improving real lives. Visit a vets' home. Send our troops books. If the military isn't your bag, then raise money for famine relief or help an animal shelter. But whatever you do, remember what's real and get het up about that.
Besides showing an ignorance of Physics (sad thing for a science fiction writer to be deficient of), she demonstrates a lack of respect for how people may decide to best enjoy their hobby. She assumes that if you try to "...synthesise and explore a self-consistent reality for that universe" you must not be doing anything worthwhile in the real world.
That is insulting and a false premise to boot. I'd wager that 90% of the people I know who are part of the so-called Talifandom do things that have a far greater impact on the world than Karen Traviss. And not just the scientists or the engineers, but even the bartenders too.
Finally, when an author licensed to write for LucasFilm is allowed to published such things on the official site, I must assume that such views are endorsed by the parent company. A company that holds this position is not worthy of either my loyalty or my money. I would rather support a franchise that has never faltered in its appreciation of its fans, tali or no.
I suppose this now means I have to buy Star Trek V.
Shit.
For further reading please reference Poe's Dark Side which contains many more examples of LucasFilm's attitude in general and Karen Traviss's specifically toward a large portion of its fan base.
Posted by Skayhan at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)
May 18, 2006
The Da Vinci Code: Secrets Revealed
I figured out the secret behind The Da Vinci Code.
Believe me, it was difficult, but after months of research, painstaking reconstruction of events and retracing my steps, I have finally got the answer. And you will be astounded by it. The biggest secret to one of the hottest novels-turned-movies since The Lord of the Rings. This secret is so deep, in fact, that not even the Catholic Church has managed to figure it out yet.
What is the secret, you ask? Well, I'm not so sure you're ready to learn it yet. Are you truly willing to deal with the full repercussions of this most hidden truth? Are you willing to question everything you've ever been told about Dan Brown and his hit novel? Are you willing to set aside Tom Hanks' ridiculous hairdo?
If you answered "Yes" to all of these questions, then you might, just might, be ready to figure out the greatest secret in The Da Vinci Code's history. But first, let me tell you how I finally figured it out.
The evening chill cut through the thin material of my fleece, despite the heat of the day earlier. I had just finished eating dinner and was out to do some browsing at my local bookstore. I was looking for hints for the secret behind The Da Vinci Code and so far had had no luck. I felt it would be my lucky night.
As I took my Civic down Old Country Road, I reflected on the path that led me to this point. It was on a night like this, not very long ago, when I first picked up a copy of a book during a family outing to an Outback Steakhouse in Queens. It was sitting there, a sticker on it marking an attractive discount, and I decided that it was a good bargain for a hardcover. Not knowing what I'd get myself into, I picked it up.
Little did I realize that I would not get to read it for a full month. Yes, first my older sister pinched the book from me to read it first, then my aunt, then my mother, and finally my younger sister. It had passed through four pairs of hands before I could even crack the binding; who knows what deeds they had done to the novel?
My worries were in vain; the book and the text contained therein were mercifully unharmed. I delved into the story of Robert Langdon and the greatest secret in human history, and was left satisfied - but a little underwhelmed - at the story. My interest was therefore piqued when a feature film based on the novel was announced, especially since it was being directed by Ron Howard and starred Tom Hanks and Paul Bettany. A promising cast, to say the least.
Imagine my surprise when the controversy stormed up.
First there were accusations of plagiarism. The book took ideas from a non-fiction work that was previously written! Surely Dan Brown was in a world of shit. Fortunately for him, the judge in the case dismissed it with a clever document that also contained a hidden code - a code which has nothing to do with the book, sadly. But that wasn't the end of the controversy. As the movie neared its release date, other controversies popped up. Some called it blasphemy. Some called it an attack on Christianity. The Catholic Church out and out supported a boycott of the movie. For what reason, I could not fathom, especially after I found out the secret behind The Da Vinci Code
Back to my discovery. I headed to the shopping center on Glen Cove Road, to the now two-story Barnes & Noble that had recently been renovated. I walked in and immediately headed to a stack of familiar red dust jackets, each of them showing an image of the face of Mona Lisa. I stood there for a moment, trying to put the pieces together. What did it all mean? What was the secret? I glanced around, looking for pointers, when I noticed a sign on the wall.
It was all so simple. The truth slammed into me and brought me to my knees. I stared reverentially at the sign, the solution, the answer to it all. I had finally done it.
I read the word again, and I knew that all of those who stood opposed to the film...all those snub-nosed, self-righteous Catholics, all those powers-that-be that wanted nothing more than to have the book banned, to have the movie banned even, missed the most important clue of all. The following are the glyhps I transcribed that fateful day:
"FICTION"
Posted by Dalton at 06:02 PM | Comments (5)
May 16, 2006
A Word From Our Sponser
Posted by Skayhan at 01:23 PM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2006
Loose Credits Part One
Don't believe the cover-up
Posted by Skayhan at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2006
Coming Soon
Posted by Skayhan at 01:31 AM | Comments (0)
May 06, 2006
Star Trek Cribs and the Greatest Preacher Ever
Taking a break from Poe's, Dalton's, and my own disertations on the varying types of assholes and what belches forth, I give you the following:
I swear, you can find almost anything on YouTube...except for an episode of the original Ultraman.
Also, considering the subject of my earlier post, I thought long and hard about posting the following for fear that it might be seen as giving lie to my protestations. But fuck it, this is funny!
Posted by Skayhan at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)
May 05, 2006
My Exit From Star Wars.com
On Sunday, April 30th, at 3:59 pm, I severed all ties with starwars.com. At 4:34 pm, the toady known as "Dark Moose" accepted my resignation. At 4:54pm, my personal stalker, Darkstar, was already posting about it on his blog. Unless Darkstar, has purchased a Re-Tardis, that should have been at 6:54pm, since he lives in the Central Time Zone in Mississippi. Maybe he moved to California so he won't be inconvenienced by hurricanes interfering with his magazine purchases?Of course, with everything Darkstar, he puts his own spin on it, regardless of the facts. For instance, he says on his blog:
 |
"However, no matter one's taste in resonance, all can now certainly enjoy that the talifan in question has lost his StarWars.com blog because of his talifan activities against a certain author." |
Darkstar is kinda like a two year old that learns a new word, and feels he must repeat it over and over again to gain acceptance from the grown-ups.
While he drools and puts pennies in his mouth.
I mean, he uses the word "talifan" no less than four times in that one blog alone!
Again, as usual, Darkstar runs roughshod over the facts, stating I "lost" my starwars.com blog.
No...I threw it away.
I've had enough of sw.com, and the incestuous nature of the commune there. Here's the FACTS about my self-ban from starwars.com:
So as you can see, instead of begging Dark Moose to unlock my blog, which would have allowed me to continue to use it, I told him to go fuck himself, and showed myself the door.
And why does Al Gore think I "copied" him because I utilized one of the many features of my Hyperspace membership? I guess everyone on Myspace that started a blog after Darkstar are merely followers to a drumbeat only he hears.
|
Of course, someone like me who is not a spin doctor can't expect to really make a reply to BS that has the same emotional resonance as the spin doctor's BS. |
Posted by Poe at 05:24 PM | Comments (0)
The Color of My Skin
Because of the color of my skin, they laugh at the way I speak.
Because of the color of my skin, I must not like them.
Because of the color of my skin, they don't want me to make their drink.
Because of the color of my skin, I charge them too much.
Because of the color of my skin, they don't tip me.
Because of the color of my skin, they think nothing of insulting me.
Because of the color of my skin, I cut them off when they've had enough to drink and I'm tired of listening to them running their mouth.
Because of the color of my skin, I'm a racist.Thankfully, the people coming into my bar who think as the above are in a minority. But it is enough of a group to ruin an otherwise pleasant evening.
The truth is that I am a bartender who doesn't give anything away for free and will not get you drunk. I freely accept my regular role as the bad guy in certain situations. I am the one who will be sent over to cut you off. I will be the one to make sure you pay what is owed to us; no more, no less. I will be the one to kick you out when you have overstayed your welcome.
However, the way I treat you has nothing to do with the color of my skin, I merely have a low tolerance for bullshit. I understand that it is difficult to truly get to know me over the short time you are sitting at the bar, but to assume that I treat you different simply due to a difference in skin tones leads me to believe you may be a prejudiced fool. And life is far too short for me to deal with any more assholes than the one I already have (or am, depending on your point of view).
I yearn for the day when I can hang up my bar-towel forever. It has been too long in the coming.
Anyway, to lighten matters up somewhat, I will close with a quote from Chuck:
I'm watching this old tape today, and there's an MCI commercial about the Internet, and how wonderful and tranquil and beautiful it is. There's nice pre-Titanic music playing and a boy tossing flower petals and people appear saying the following: "There is no race. There is no gender. There are no infirmities. There are only minds."It's a thing of beauty, a spin that would make Herman Goerring proud.
I would like to re-shoot that commercial only, instead of little boys
throwing flowers, flash up posts off Usenet. Every one is genuine (and most are from ASVS). Enjoy.Titanic music starts playing...
There is no race
That little Jew Philip will post a public apology as soon as realized he will be in a little trouble if he doesn't....
You are a trendy fucking pussy ass niggerThere is no gender
This must be her "time of the month" then eh?Can we see you naked?
There are no infirmities
Good Grief, am I the only person on this NG who isn't on medication?There are only minds
All your base are belong to us!"The power of the Internet. Bringing people together, so they can fuel their hatred." MCI
EDIT: I finally found the original commercial.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:04 AM | Comments (0)
May 02, 2006
On His Throne, Contemplative
I'd like to share a thought with you today. Some of you will find it disgusting, some of you will nod your head sagely. And I suspect that the former are going to be women, and the latter men.
So what is it with men and bathrooms?
I suspect my fellow lumbering, hairy slobs will agree with me: a man feels most at peace when he's sitting on the can. Berkeley Breathed had a phrase for this: "Quality Time".
So what is the appeal?
Well, for me, at least, the bathroom is like a fortress of solitude. Walls of white surround a sealed chamber where any less-than-Superman can be himself. Where he can just "hang out", so to speak. A roll of TP, a book or magazine, and thyself. It's truly bliss.
"But men," you say, "Can't you get that in your bedroom? Your living room? Your den?"
The answer is NO. Too many distractions. Phone, computer, television, radio, you name it. In the bathroom, there is only the hum of the fan. There is nothing to come between a man and some serious thinking. That sculpture of The Thinker? He should have been on the crapper.
Nothing is worse, though, than that tap-tap-tapping on the door. "Are you done yet?" "Did you fall in?" No! We are not done yet! Where else can a man plop his naked ass down with such brazenness?
For a man, going to make a deposit into the 2nd National Bank is his alone time. His quality time. His naked time. When all the layers of civilization peel away and he can be a real man, a true man, that grunting, sweaty, hairy primordial beast that would crouch down bareass naked in a grove of trees and fertilize some plants.
Perhaps I go too far.
But the first part is true. So ladies, do yourself a favor.
Don't come between a man and his porcelain throne.
Posted by Dalton at 12:57 AM | Comments (0)