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June 29, 2006
Day of Atonement Held
| Yesterday was the official Day of Atonement for members of the Church of the Holy Travissty. Record numbers of up to a dozen believers came out to celebrate their faith on this sacred occasion. Although being new, this religion has already garnered some influential followers in certain circles. It has also quickly gained critics as some have claimed the church has persecuted those who do not share its beliefs. Casual observers may also mistake this religion as an offshoot of Christianity, but that is not the case. | 
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According to the Holy Blog, Traviss has nailed herself to a cross thirty seven times. That she hasn't died or been locked away because of it is considered one the the faith's deepest mysteries.
But it is the Day of Atonement that attracts the most attention from the faithful. Once a month, they come before Traviss's alter to supplicate themselves and beg forgiveness for any slight, be it real or imagined, they may have committed against her. According to Dark Moose, a proper prayer for absolution must contain no dignity, shame, or sense of self-worth. He offered the entreaty given by YoshiYoda as an example:
Karen, [when] I realized I was on your blacklist, that put a big hole in my heart... I really didn't want any of this to happen. I am in tears now. PLEASE, PLEASE forgive me. What we did was stupid, and I feel so stupid. I'd rather be on the good side of my inspirtation, my HERO. You made me love clones, you made me realize that two people that look exactly the same have ENTIRELY different personalities. Sure, the same is apparent with twins, but clones always seemed like useless grunts that looked the same. You changed that for me. I wanted to make sure that whatever I said, it was on your good side. And now, look at me. You dislike me, with good reason. And that was a VERY large mistake. SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY...After the wailing, moaning, and rending of clothes was complete, Dark Moose offered the final benediction, "I offer you mercy through the power of Traviss, warning you to sin no more; for our god is a bitter, petty god and you know not what may offend her next. Offer her praise with every word and thought so as not to incur her wrath. Amen."
The next opportunity for atonement will be next month at a time to be announced.
In Related News:
A pair of testicles was found yesterday in the alley behind the Church of the Holy Travissty and taken to St. Luuuke's Hospital. The owner has not yet stepped forward.
Posted by Skayhan at 08:11 AM | Comments (0)
June 28, 2006
The Grand Army of the Republic
Posted by Skayhan at 06:48 PM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2006
No Art Should be Ridiculed
Sci-Fi Channel's Vortex from January 24th, 1997.
Despite Eric Wallace's opinion, there are works of art that richly deserve ridicule, regardless of who may have produced them. Mystery Science Theater 3000 took the act of ridicule and made it an art form itself and allowed people to enjoy films that they otherwise could not. And Eric Wallace is wrong (on so many levels) to sarcastically suggest that the crew of MST3K should be expecting the filmmakers to be thanking them for MSTing their creation. The show isn't geared toward them; it is already too late, the creature that is their film has been unleashed upon the world. But it does serve as object lessons for those making movies yet to be made or released: don't create crap like this.
It is also not wrong to ridicule only one part of a work. Not as a nitpick, rather when a seemingly tiny detail alters the perception of the larger piece from greatness to absurdity.
For example, if Michelangelo had sculpted David with a twenty inch erect phallus, would it be on tour with the rest of the Vatican Collection? Or would it have been so lambasted that consignment to the trash heap would not have been long in the coming?
But in an alternate time line, Michelangelo decided to stick to his guns and announce to the public:
I am sick and tired of all the ranting by these Herodtics (I love that term, BTW)who have nothing in their life to worry about other than the size of David's appendage just because they feel it's unrealistic. It's a biblical character for crying out loud! Moses parted a sea, Jesus rose from the dead, Mary was a virgin?!! But make a guy hung like a horse and that's suddenly too silly. My gut reaction is that they should all be dragged before the Inquisition and then burned at the stake, but my rational self finds it all so fascinating.I'm sure that in this parallel universe Michelangelo was surprised when, after writing his above comments, he also became a subject of ridicule. I'm also certain that he felt it was undue and unjust. After all, he was merely commissioned to do the work. But, in the end, it was his name, not the sponsor's, that would be forever on the work. And it was hard for the public to separate the art from the artist when he defends his work by vehemently lashing out at critics, holding his monument with both hands, and telling the public they will swallow it whether they like it or not.Furthermore, the size of the cock was fully reviewed and approved by the Pope's advisers. Twenty inches is now official Vatican policy. I love dogma, did I mention that? We can now brandish that cock, repel all death-threatening homophobes, and yell, "Because we bloody well say so!"
And if they didn't like that, I can only imagine what their reaction will be when (behold the power of retcon!) the Venus de Milo is unveiled next month with DDD's, legs akimbo, and tentacles emanating from her nethers.
Happily, in this scenario, the powers that be came to their senses and put a stop to Michelangelo before he got to the Sistine Chapel. But his fall from grace could have been avoided if he had simply heeded the initial critiques from the "Herodtics". So ridicule, though brutal at times, can be a service to both the artist and the public.
Thankfully, such stubbornness never occurs in Science Fiction literature.
Posted by Skayhan at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)