April 15, 2010
Šta Vi Znate
WARNING: The following contains graphic images
UPOZORENJE: Sledeće sadrži grafičke slike
Ova je prva i prečesto jedina slika mnogi Amerikanci imaju kad misle o ratom u Balkanu
Ali sledeče je također prave slike rata
05:40-06:06
12. Novembra 1991.
Dario Kordić: "...the Croatian people in Bosnia and Herzegovina must finally embrace a determined and active policy which will realise our eternal dream – a common Croatian state." source
Opsada Mostara je trajala devet mjeseca
Vreme Rata: Oluja i Lašva Dolina
Logorima i Ratni Zločinaci
Dretelj (Hrvati): U okolini Čapljine and Medjugorje. Bošnjaci deportovan kroz Hrvata. Na vrt 2700 u logoru
Heliodrom (Hrvati): U Rodoci sud od Mostara.
*Čelebići (Bosnjaci i Hrvati): Glavni logor u Konjicu.
Gabela (Hrvati): Sud od Čapljina
Vojno (Hrvati): Okolina Mostara
Šunje (Hrvati): Okolina Kreševa
додатак писму
Кућа отворених врата
Posted by Skayhan at 01:29 AM | Comments (0)
February 06, 2007
Kosovo Brief
Geography
From Wikimedia Commons
Demographics
Survey of the Statistical Office of Kosovo
Торлачки говор
From Wikimedia Commons
The Heart of Serbia
Posted by Skayhan at 03:24 AM | Comments (0)
September 29, 2006
The Last Bastion
Part One
More coming soon...
Posted by Skayhan at 08:35 PM | Comments (0)
August 15, 2006
Does the AP Owe Green Helmet Money?
Fool! I am write-protected!
I am at a loss to explain why Kathy Gannon, Associated Press's Iranian Bureau Chief, continues fellatiating Salam Daher, who many on the internet believe to be part of Hezbollah, an Iranian sponsered...
Well, I guess I answered my own question.
The article itself is a rehash of Gannon's Sunday piece with the exception of how Daher got his face scratched (I'd lay money it was actually while shaving) and one sentence referencing, almost in passing, a certain video starring Gannon's new best friend.
In one photograph, taken after an Israeli airstrike hit a building in the village of Qana, Daher held a dead infant over his head. The boy's blue pacifier was pinned to his nightshirt.One photograph? There are several photos of this honorable man thrusting the infant toward the cameras, all from different angles and each with Salam Dahar facing the lens. One photograph: bullshit.
"I did hold the baby up, but I was saying 'look at who the Israelis are killing. They are children,'" Daher said. "These are not fighters. They have no guns. They are children, civilians they are killing.' "Gannon fails to mention the name of the website which originally posted the video: NDR Fernsehen, a German television network. When I asked about NDR on a BBS I frequent last Thursday, a member who is a German citizen responded, "NDR is part of the "official" stations under public law, and are usually quite reliable. Would have to watch that report, but normally, they're no propaganda station..."He said he had no regrets and he made no apologies. "I wanted people to see who was dying. They said they were killing fighters. They killed children."
After the photograph taken at the July 30 Qana strike, which killed 29 people, Daher has found himself under attack, accused of being a propagandist for Hezbollah guerrillas.
One Web site posted video purporting to show Daher arranging to have the body of a child taken off an ambulance and displayed for photographers.
The video has spread via YouTube and eventually aired on Faux News (very appropriate titling in this case) this morning. That alone is likely the only reason Gannon even mentioned it or why she felt she needed to write another "hero profile" on Daher a mere two days later. At no point in the article does she ask Salam Daher about the video which shows his statement about displaying only one body to the cameras to be a lie.
Oooh, your helmet is so big!
I do hope she wore her kneepads.
Posted by Skayhan at 09:09 PM | Comments (0)
Fox News Shows NDR Qana Video
The video was shown at 10:45 AM and at least once earlier.
EDIT (1:10 PM): You can now view the clip at Hot Air.
The video looks like they pulled the YouTube version instead of the better ZDR website one. The result is a poor choppy appearance worse than a cell phone capture.
During the report, Fox also mentions the AP interview with Salam Dahar (aka Green Helmet). Now that the video is beginning to be shown on the networks, perhaps someone will ask the AP why Daher was wearing the blue armor journalists wear.
Posted by Skayhan at 10:59 AM | Comments (0)
August 14, 2006
The Truth from a Certain Point of View
I saw the guy in the green helmet (in the NDR video), but his picture was never in the Post
Deborah Howell, Washington Post Ombudsman
8/13/06
True, if only in regards to the print version of the Post. The online version, however...
Washington Post: Crisis in the Middle East Multimedia
Photos: Deadly attack in Qana
Slide #2
Photo editors are on the look out for things like this.Perhaps those who produced and edited the photos in the Qana gallery (Stephan Cook and Lindsay G. McCullough) should sit down with Deborah Howell so they can reconcile their differing points of view.
Deborah Howell, Washington Post Ombudsman
8/13/06
Posted by Skayhan at 08:36 AM | Comments (0)
August 13, 2006
Ignoring the Elephant in Qana
Update: Not So
Douglas Adams might have called this an application of a SEP Field. There are articles and editorials coming out on the question of staged photos in Qana that concentrate only on the pictures they received and used while ignoring anything outside of that scope that may show the doctoring began before the shutter snapped. They believe that must be someone else's problem.
Case in point:
A War of Images and Perceptions by Deborah Howell, Ombudsman, Washington Post
My review of war photos published in The Post didn't show any obvious manipulation. Several readers questioned the July 31 Page 1 photo of the dead at Qana and said they had heard that one person had been moving and that the photo had been staged.Once again, there is no mention of the elephant in the room: the NDR video.Post photographer Michael Robinson-Chavez was there. "Everyone was dead, many of them children. Nothing was set up. There was no way photos could have been altered with a dozen photographers there."
I have written to Deborah Howell with links to the footage because any article written discussing the coverage of events in Qana, Lebanon is incomplete without it and does a diservice to the public.
Besides, that pacaderm isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
UPDATE (2:00 PM)
Deborah Howell responds:
I looked at these. I was writing about what appeared in the Post. I saw the guy in the green helmet, but his picture was never in the Post. Photo editors are on the look out for things like this.I thank the Ombudsman for her answer and am glad to know they have been aware of the video. It makes sense not to assume that, since one instance is confirmed to be staged, every photo must also have been staged. In fact, unless hard evidence is made to the contrary, the assumption must be the opposite. This is why I have mentioned only the NDR video and Salam Daher in regards to staging.Deborah Howell
Washington Post Ombudsman
But I still think the video should have been part of the discussion.
Posted by Skayhan at 12:55 AM | Comments (0)
August 12, 2006
AP: Whitewashing the Propaganda
I have officially lost trust in the Associated Press.
Watch this video from Germany's NDR broadcast earlier in the week showing the infamous "Green Helmet Man" directing a macabre pagent in Qana, Lebanon.
The full video can be found on NDR's website
Now read this current CYA article from Associated Press's Kathy Gannon
'Green Helmet' helps rescue the wounded
TYRE, Lebanon - After hours of digging in the blistering heat, Salam Daher emerged from the wreckage with the body of a 9-month-old baby, a blue pacifier still pinned to its nightshirt.This article follows close on the heels of another such feature in Stern Magazine. Nowhere in either article do they mention this video even though it has been circulating for days.
ADVERTISEMENTHe held the infant up and, click, an Associated Press photographer snapped another picture of Daher, in his trademark green helmet, displaying a civilian victim of Israeli bombs for the world to see.
Daher, a member of the civil defense for 20 years, has been photographed with bodies of the dead in two wars now — first in 1996 and most recently with the baby on July 30 __ both times after Israeli attacks in the village of Qana six miles southeast of the city.
For that reason, some Web sites have labeled him the "Green Helmet," and accused him of being a member of the Hezbollah guerrilla group, and of showing off bodies as propaganda.
"But that isn't true," he told The Associated Press. He is not affiliated with any party, he said. "I am just a civil defense worker. I have done this job all my life."
I find the accompanying photo by Ben Curtis interesting
This is what he normally wears as also photographed by Ben Curtis
Why, in a piece supposed to dispel allegations of staging and cooperation by the media, is the subject dressed up not in his regular uniform but that which the press wears as shown in the above and below pics?
The AP expect this to dispel rumors about their pics being staged? Seriously, where the hell is the rest of the media on this?
Finally, I challenge someone to find a pic of this guy with any victim that isn't a corpse!
Links (right wing sites but the left's silence on this is deafening):
UPDATE:
Salam Daher is from Marjayoun and apparently so is AP photographer Lutfallah Daher. Are they relatives? That could explain where Salam got the cool blue threads for his glamour shot. And look at this picture by Lustfallah taken back in Feburary:
And who is there in the back wearing the glasses? Our man Salam posing with yet another corpse.
UPDATE II (2:20 PM): Are news outlets slowly beginning to notice?
Lebanon photos: Take a closer look by Tim Rutten, LA Times
What's hard to imagine is how anybody can look at the photos and not conclude that they're riddled with journalistic deceit.Were front-page photos staged? by Dave Kopel, Rocky Mountain NewsMany, including grisly images from the Qana tragedy, clearly are posed for maximum dramatic effect. There is an entire series of photos of children's stuffed toys poised atop mounds of rubble. All are miraculously pristinely clean and apparently untouched by the devastation they purportedly survived. (Reuters might want to check its freelancers' expenses for unexplained Toys R Us purchases.) In some cases, the bloggers seem to have uncovered the same photographer using more than one identity. There's an improbable photo by Hajj of a Koran burning atop the rubble of a building supposedly destroyed by an Israeli aircraft hours before. Nothing else in sight is alight. (With photos, as in life, when something seems too perfect to be true, it's almost always because it is.) In other photos, the same wrecked building is portrayed multiple times with the same older woman — one supposes she ought to be called a model — either lamenting its destruction or passing by in different costumes.
I e-mailed some questions to Linda Wagner, the AP's director of media relations and public affairs. She sidestepped my question about access to the building, stating: "We know that, generally, access to combat sites for journalists in Lebanon is greater than it has been for journalists operating within Israel, Iraq or Afghanistan."On July 22, Reuters published a photo of a woman crying because Israeli planes had just destroyed her apartment. (See drinkingfromhome.blogspot. com, Aug. 6 entry). On Aug. 5, the AP published a photo of the same woman in Beirut, crying because Israeli planes had just destroyed her house.
Regarding the woman's claims, Wagner said, "We will not speculate." More precisely, it could be said the AP's decision to publish the photo and to attach a statement repeating the woman's claim as fact was based on speculation the woman was telling the truth.
Something else the AP will not do is release the original files of its Qana photos so the internal digital time stamps on the photos can be examined. At the least, such examination would reveal the time interval between various photos, which would provide evidence regarding whether the photos were staged.
Asked about the German network's video, Wagner replied: "There are gruesome realities in all war zones that result from war's death and destruction. Victims of such destruction sometimes want the world to see its results.
"The full sequence of AP photos and captions from the incident at Qana on July 30 reflect that reality.
"In AP's captions, the man in the green helmet was identified as a civil defense worker, and we have confirmed that he is in charge of civil defense in Tyre, which is near Qana.
"Partisans on both sides of a conflict will interpret images of that conflict in different ways. AP strives to stick to the facts."
Fair enough, but that does not mean the media should cooperate with "victims" (or Hezbollah operatives) in producing staged or posed photos. On Aug. 1, the AP, Reuters and Agence France Press released a joint statement "strongly denying that the images were staged." In light of the videos, those denials are implausible.
Posted by Skayhan at 12:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
August 06, 2006
Reuters Corrected Photo
Reuters earlier today killed the obviously digitally doctored photo and has replaced it with a corrected image. According to a statement issued by Reuters, they will no longer accept any photos from Adnan Hajj who has denied any wrong doing.
"The photographer has denied deliberately attempting to manipulate the image, saying that he was trying to remove dust marks and that he made mistakes due to the bad lighting conditions he was working under," said Moira Whittle, the head of public relations for Reuters."This represents a serious breach of Reuters' standards and we shall not be accepting or using pictures taken by him," Whittle said in a statement issued in London.
This is the "corrected, unaltered" picture by Hajj:
Excuse me for a moment while I ponder why Reuters is so naive. Hajj submits an altered picture which slips past editorial review and is pulled only when the obvious is pointed out to them. Reuters is then given perhaps the lamest excuse for its existence by the perpetrator. So why would Reuters accept anything from him especially a "correction" of a false image?
I'm calling bullshit on the correction. If anything, the only corrections made were to clean up some sloppy work. Therefore, I'm going to enter crazy land once more and state that Hajj's correction is still a complete fabrication based mostly on the July 26th pic by Ben Curtis.
I overlaid the two photos by making the following adjustments to the Hajj "correction":
1. Enlarged it by 3%Both adjustments were guestimations and I did not expect a perfect match. This is the result
2. Rotated it two degree counter-clockwise
Regardless of whether or not I'm right about the Hajj-Curtis amalgam, there was another strange artifact that appears in the Hajj photo but not in Curtis's suggesting that this is still not a legitimate photo.
This looks like the roof of a building (the building directly to the left and slightly below to be exact). But Hajj's photo was taken two weeks after Curtis's. Is this another example of the extraordinary construction ability of the Lebanese?
Or have I simply been staring at these photos for far too long?
Posted by Skayhan at 10:59 PM | Comments (0)
August 05, 2006
My Lying Eyes
It's been a while since I've commented on anything political. This has mainly been because either I could not find the humor in it or, more commonly, I could not add anything substantive to the subject. However, there is one thing I'm fairly good at: PhotoShopping.
source: Yahoo! News
Coming so close on the heels of the tin-foil brigage's charges of a hoax at Qana, when I first read of this I was a tad more than skeptical. But with my first glance at the photo there was one suspicious element that just jumped out at me.
(Image cropped, enlarged 2x, and labeled; no other enhancements)
Okay, three elements (six if you consider the little "v" shape beneath each column a separate element) but you understand what I mean.
What are the odds of identical formations of smoke appearing right next to each other? The photographer, Adnan Hajj, should buy a lottery ticket at his next opportunity. Or perhaps he would be better served observing the photo-editing work of the masters over on SomethingAwful.com so he might avoid such beginner's mistakes in the future. Hint: the smudge tool is very handy to obscure use of the clone tool.
But the lesson here is, once again, view the news critically and never just accept what is presented, regardless of the source. That should go doubly for editors at the major news agencies like Reuters who, in this instance, should have rejected this photo as showing the possibility of being doctored.
Of course, it may be time to get fitted for my own tin-foil hat.
Update: I've browsed through many of Adnan Hajj's recent photos and, aside from the photo above, none of them give the slightest suggestion of digital manipulation. So my questions are: if true, who did this and, more importantly, why? Is Beruit so devoid of scenes of war that a photo needed to be enhanced? It makes no sense.
UPDATE II: And just like that, I'm wearing a shiny, maleable, protect-me-from-freezer-burn hat.
Take a look at this 7/26/06 picture from AP Photographer, Ben Curtis, specifically the lower right section.
Could this be the original source of the 8/05/06 Hajj "photo"?
At first I thought that the location the picture(s) was taken from could simply be a favored locale for journalists which would be a simple, logical explanation for the two pictures. Unfortunately, there are yet more oddities.
1, 2, and 3 are buildings that appear to be the same.
4 serves as a landmark further suggesting the areas are the same.
But then where did the "?" building on the right come from. Even the Japanese after a Godzilla attack could not put up buildings in less than two weeks! Isn't it also weird how #3 and "?" are remarkedly similiar in design and size despite their spacial difference? Except that "?" seems to be chopped in half right where building #3 intersects with an adjacent structure.
Is the Hajj picture a complete fraud?
Hey, like I said, I'm in tin-foil hat territory now! But while I stew in conspiritorial juices, I'd love to see higher-res versions of both pictures.
UPDATE III "I can't stop the madness!!!": Here is a photo taken by Adnan Hajj on July 25, 2006 from apparently the same location.
This actually lines up better with the August 5th photo in regards to the x-axis relationship between buildings 1, 2, and 4. If I were to hazard a guess (and I am guessing), the photoshop used elements of the July 25th Hajj pic and the July 26th Curtis pic as the source material.
For example, building #4 is taken from the Hajj photo while building #3 (and its clone) are from Curtis's. Also, based on both of the July pictures, there is no way building #4 and the horizon could be where it is in the doctored picture in question; it should be lower.
FINAL UPDATE: Reuters has killed the photo and made the following statement
PICTURE KILL FOR LBN20 TRANSMITTED AT APPROXIMATELY 1408GMT ON AUGUST 5, 2006. PHOTO EDITING SOFTWARE WAS IMPROPERLY USED ON THIS IMAGE. A CORRECTED VERSION WILL IMMEDIATELY FOLLOW THIS ADVISORY. PLEASE REMOVE THE IMAGE FROM YOUR SYSTEMS. WE ARE SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. REUTERS LBN20 Smoke billows from burning buildings destroyed during an overnight Israeli air raid on Beirut's suburbs August 5, 2006. Many buildings were flattened during the attack. REUTERS/Adnan Hajj (LEBANON) REUTERS NEWS PICTURESNo doubt this had to do with the fact that if I could notice it, pretty much everybody else could too.
Kudos to Reuters for their swift response to this.
Posted by Skayhan at 07:35 PM | Comments (0)
July 21, 2006
Clerks II
You will believe in a crack-smoking donkey-f'er
Summary: See it.
There. Now you don't need to read the rest of this review. But if you're actually curious as to what my views of the film are, then read on. I'm not going to cover any of the plot points but I will discuss the movie in two separate ways:
1. For those who have never watched a Kevin Smith movie:
You will most likely be wondering why half the audience is laughing when nothing is apparently happening on screen. Don't worry about it, you're just the schlep who didn't bother to watch the original Clerks before going to see the sequel. And you may be shocked, appalled, or just plain offended by what you see and hear during the film if you are a person who is regularly told to "get the stick out of your ass". But again, this is completely your own fault. There have been ads out for months warning that the material may be offensive.2. For those who have seen and are fans of the original and/or cartoon spin-off.So dislodge your blockage and enjoy the ride because, contrary to popular opinion, Smith does manage to write poignantly about life, love (both romantic and platonic), and the human condition. He just won't unnecessarily dress it up or flog the audience with it. If Kevin Smith's film making has one flaw it is this: he does not think his audience is dumb.
Come to think of it, flogging may be the only subject not covered in Clerk II.
This movie delivers on every front you could have wanted. And that's probably all you wanted to know. Besides, you're going to see it regardless of what anyone might say. You won't let some prissy critic decide for you what is or is not good art.
But unfortunately, there was one thing about Clerks II that did sadden me. It reminded me how much I miss New Jersey.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:29 PM | Comments (0)
July 18, 2006
History of the Traviss Affair
This history is by no means complete and focuses primarily on Traviss's statements.
May 2005
"Foreshadowing"
LiveJournal Blog: May 26, 2005 Neologism of the Day
Traviss discovers the term "Talifan" in relation to the work of another media tie-in writer.
September 2005
"And so it begins..."
TheForce.net Literature Forum: Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic (Sept 20)
(this is the last page where Karen Traviss participates)
Board members begin questioning the veracity of 3 million(+) clones. Traviss and Kaufmann attempt to answer these questions but their answers (save one by Kaufmann stating that the number "does not represent the entire fighting force") are not found satisfying to those who find the number too small.
After the authors' departure from the thread, the debate continues and becomes somewhat heated as these discussions do (SSD length), but that is part of the normal canon debate process; strongly held opinions will be strongly defended. However there was no flaming of Traviss or Kaufmann in that thread.
October 2005
"The Fuse is Lit"
Karen Traviss on her SW.com Blog
Special Forces (Oct 1)
Why Maths is a Slippery Slope in the GFFA (Oct 2)
Ms. Traviss continues her defense of the 3 million clone numbers. In the first link above is the first known claim by Traviss that she is being flamed somewhat over this.
Karen Traviss on LiveJournal (Oct 2): Worst.Episode.Ever.
Traviss's first use of the term "Talifan" to describe her critics. She thanks Dark Moose for "riding to my rescue in the Talifan Wars". This is likely a reference to threads and member blogs on SW.com discussing the clone number issue that were heavily moderated.
Karen Traviss on SW.com (Oct 6): Angels Pinheads and Inquisitions
This post is where it all really began to go to hell. "Techies/Fleet Junkies/Saxtonites" felt that they were being insulted by Ms. Traviss on the way they choose to enjoy their hobby and on their personal lives (unable to distinguish between fiction and reality). If this post was an attempt to calm both sides of the debate it failed utterly for, right or wrong, it is from this point on that clone discussions on various Star Wars related webboards become more heated and more focused on Karen Traviss herself.
TheForce.net Literature Forum: (Oct 15) Making the Boards Safe for Ms. Traviss's Return
Saxtonites are accused of driving/keeping Karen Traviss off the boards with rude and insulting behavior. While repetatively challenged to present evidence of anyone flaming either Traviss or Kaufmann on TFN, none is found or presented.
April 2006
"Using Gasoline to Put Out a Fire"
Star Wars Insider #87: Odds by Karen Traviss
TheForce.net Forums: ODDS in Insider 87 (Controversial Issues Abound) (April 2)
Stardestroyer.net Forums: The Size of the Droid Army "Retconned" (April 9)
A retconn that is intended to lower the canon number of driod soldiers which had previously been quantified as quadrillion or quintillion (Lord of War, RotS:ICS). While accepting its place in official hierarchy, critics (same people as those who railed against the 3 million) claimed that this went against prior EU sources and is over-ruled by the droid factory scene in AotC. More importantly, they claimed this was a poor attempt by Traviss to explain how the three million clones were enough to fight the Clone Wars which was now considered a "brush fire" and not a major conflict. Basically, this opened up a new front in the flamewar.
GalacticSenate.com Forums: (April 10) Republic Commando Sequel: Triple Zero
In a discussion of numbers (again), (an exasperated?) Karen Traviss twice accuses her critics of sexism: "Every argument I see that I - and Ryan, too - but it's obviously more rewarding to attack a woman)" and "This final comment isn't directed at you, but is a general observation about the tone of the attacks on me since last September: they are highly emotional and gynophobic." Her detractors see this as another unfounded attack on their persons. Traviss also states her distaste of the TFN forums.
Karen Traviss on LiveJournal (April 13): Nuts... or there but for the grace of God
What little chance of peace that existed between Traviss and her critics vanished with the appearance of this post. This is the source of the now infamous quote "My gut reaction is that they all need garroting, but my rational self finds it all... fascinating." It also had the effect of drawing in people that previously had no interest in the clone number debates but found Traviss's statements bewildering and distressing.
Wayne Poe: The Karen Traviss Database (April 14): Talifan!
(Note: the linked page was not written until May; the video is at the bottom of the page. The page also contains further history of the flamewar from Poe's perspective.)
Created in response to Karen Traviss's recent blog post, Talifan! is a film intended to satirize (albeit lacking subtlety) the whole Traviss affair. However, Traviss and her supporters saw it as a violent "revenge fantasy" and point to it as an example of what a Talifan is and the extreme lengths they go to.
May 2006
"Spreading the Love"
You are Dumb Forums (May 5)
Lee Goldberg LiveJournal (May 26, 2005)
Examples of Karen Traviss visiting other non-SW sites to raise awareness of the Talifan. In the second link this involved resurrecting a year old post.
June/July 2006
"18.5 Missing Minutes"
Traviss deletes blog posts on both LiveJournal and SW.com that reference the clone numbers or Talifan.
These, to the best of my knowledge, are the major events in this fracas. Since Traviss never directly quoted any instances of sexism, libelling, or threats, I could not document them. Talifan! might be seen as the exception, but I could argue its designation as satire and point out what and how it is parodying if needs be.
This post will be revised and updated over time.
Posted by Skayhan at 02:33 AM | Comments (0)
July 16, 2006
It's not the Crime but the Coverup
July 18: This post was heavily redacted to save being redundant with the timeline posted above.
Karen Traviss has apparently undertaken the task of deleting any blog posts of hers that may not reflect well upon her in order to perpetuate her claims of being an innocent victim in the clone numbers flamewar. I might have considered the deletions as a mea culpa had it been accompanied by any sort of apology, but there is none.
Therefore, in order to preserve history from this Orwellian purge, I saved as many files from the Google Cache so it would remain possible to trace the course of this schism between author and fans.
Posted by Skayhan at 08:48 AM | Comments (0)
July 06, 2006
Next Summer's Blockbuster
With all the remakes and reimaginings, I would hardly be surprised.
Posted by Skayhan at 12:44 AM | Comments (0)
June 29, 2006
Day of Atonement Held
| Yesterday was the official Day of Atonement for members of the Church of the Holy Travissty. Record numbers of up to a dozen believers came out to celebrate their faith on this sacred occasion. Although being new, this religion has already garnered some influential followers in certain circles. It has also quickly gained critics as some have claimed the church has persecuted those who do not share its beliefs. Casual observers may also mistake this religion as an offshoot of Christianity, but that is not the case. | 
|
According to the Holy Blog, Traviss has nailed herself to a cross thirty seven times. That she hasn't died or been locked away because of it is considered one the the faith's deepest mysteries.
But it is the Day of Atonement that attracts the most attention from the faithful. Once a month, they come before Traviss's alter to supplicate themselves and beg forgiveness for any slight, be it real or imagined, they may have committed against her. According to Dark Moose, a proper prayer for absolution must contain no dignity, shame, or sense of self-worth. He offered the entreaty given by YoshiYoda as an example:
Karen, [when] I realized I was on your blacklist, that put a big hole in my heart... I really didn't want any of this to happen. I am in tears now. PLEASE, PLEASE forgive me. What we did was stupid, and I feel so stupid. I'd rather be on the good side of my inspirtation, my HERO. You made me love clones, you made me realize that two people that look exactly the same have ENTIRELY different personalities. Sure, the same is apparent with twins, but clones always seemed like useless grunts that looked the same. You changed that for me. I wanted to make sure that whatever I said, it was on your good side. And now, look at me. You dislike me, with good reason. And that was a VERY large mistake. SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY...After the wailing, moaning, and rending of clothes was complete, Dark Moose offered the final benediction, "I offer you mercy through the power of Traviss, warning you to sin no more; for our god is a bitter, petty god and you know not what may offend her next. Offer her praise with every word and thought so as not to incur her wrath. Amen."
The next opportunity for atonement will be next month at a time to be announced.
In Related News:
A pair of testicles was found yesterday in the alley behind the Church of the Holy Travissty and taken to St. Luuuke's Hospital. The owner has not yet stepped forward.
Posted by Skayhan at 08:11 AM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2006
No Art Should be Ridiculed
Sci-Fi Channel's Vortex from January 24th, 1997.
Despite Eric Wallace's opinion, there are works of art that richly deserve ridicule, regardless of who may have produced them. Mystery Science Theater 3000 took the act of ridicule and made it an art form itself and allowed people to enjoy films that they otherwise could not. And Eric Wallace is wrong (on so many levels) to sarcastically suggest that the crew of MST3K should be expecting the filmmakers to be thanking them for MSTing their creation. The show isn't geared toward them; it is already too late, the creature that is their film has been unleashed upon the world. But it does serve as object lessons for those making movies yet to be made or released: don't create crap like this.
It is also not wrong to ridicule only one part of a work. Not as a nitpick, rather when a seemingly tiny detail alters the perception of the larger piece from greatness to absurdity.
For example, if Michelangelo had sculpted David with a twenty inch erect phallus, would it be on tour with the rest of the Vatican Collection? Or would it have been so lambasted that consignment to the trash heap would not have been long in the coming?
But in an alternate time line, Michelangelo decided to stick to his guns and announce to the public:
I am sick and tired of all the ranting by these Herodtics (I love that term, BTW)who have nothing in their life to worry about other than the size of David's appendage just because they feel it's unrealistic. It's a biblical character for crying out loud! Moses parted a sea, Jesus rose from the dead, Mary was a virgin?!! But make a guy hung like a horse and that's suddenly too silly. My gut reaction is that they should all be dragged before the Inquisition and then burned at the stake, but my rational self finds it all so fascinating.I'm sure that in this parallel universe Michelangelo was surprised when, after writing his above comments, he also became a subject of ridicule. I'm also certain that he felt it was undue and unjust. After all, he was merely commissioned to do the work. But, in the end, it was his name, not the sponsor's, that would be forever on the work. And it was hard for the public to separate the art from the artist when he defends his work by vehemently lashing out at critics, holding his monument with both hands, and telling the public they will swallow it whether they like it or not.Furthermore, the size of the cock was fully reviewed and approved by the Pope's advisers. Twenty inches is now official Vatican policy. I love dogma, did I mention that? We can now brandish that cock, repel all death-threatening homophobes, and yell, "Because we bloody well say so!"
And if they didn't like that, I can only imagine what their reaction will be when (behold the power of retcon!) the Venus de Milo is unveiled next month with DDD's, legs akimbo, and tentacles emanating from her nethers.
Happily, in this scenario, the powers that be came to their senses and put a stop to Michelangelo before he got to the Sistine Chapel. But his fall from grace could have been avoided if he had simply heeded the initial critiques from the "Herodtics". So ridicule, though brutal at times, can be a service to both the artist and the public.
Thankfully, such stubbornness never occurs in Science Fiction literature.
Posted by Skayhan at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)
May 31, 2006
So Very Brittle
Today is a lesson in why few people live in glass houses.
Bryan Lambert somehow stumbled (Update: Led by the nose more like) upon the Traviss/clone uproar. He read the thread on TheForce.net and concluded that an eight month discussion is “going too far” and the fans involved are nerds beyond redemption. He also took exception to Wayne Poe’s satirical movie Talifan. Sure, Wayne’s style is slightly less subtle than a freight train fully loaded with HMDT running full steam into a oil refinery. But like that locomotive, you can see where it came from and what its goal is.
Not quite so with Bryan. It is not clear why he finds this behavior so abhorrent, save that he seems to believe that it is wrong to critically analyze art or debate the issue with the artist; even when the artist in question freely decides to jump into the fray and then run away to cast aspersions on her opponents from the safety of her blogs or other sympathetic sites (an issue Bryan neglects to mention). But to Bryan, responding to this is taking a hobby too far.
But what is too far anyway? It really comes down to the individual. Like Brian, some may feel that drawn-out, candid debates and criticisms of art is obsessive fan-boy material. However, there are also many who feel that dressing up in costumes of cartoon characters is abnormal behavior. There are yet more who would recoil in fear of a grown man playing with dolls.
Guess which two of the three above apply to Mr. Lambert...
“If you don't carry one in your pants, you might as well carry one in your hand.”
Now normally, I don’t care how people enjoy their hobby. I imagine it could be fun to stage a little fashion show in the living room where the X-Men roll up in the back of Jonny Quest's truck to the applause of the assembled crew of Star Trek while prancing about as Brak (because I'm an open-minded kind of guy). But jeez, if you’re going to throw stones at the way I enjoy mine, move out of that house. Otherwise, allow us to enjoy our hobby as much as you clearly enjoy yours.
Edit(6/1/06):
What strikes me as the most interesting part of all this is that it is Karen Traviss who is spreading word of this debacle outside of the Star Wars community, not the fans. Does she scour the net looking for any chance to decry the terrible "persecution" she is suffering at the hands of the merciless unwashed heathen; threats and libel so onerous and widespread that no one has been able to find or cite even one example.Coupling this with her fantasies of garroting people, I have to wonder:
Is Traviss mentally disturbed?
Posted by Skayhan at 02:42 PM | Comments (0)
May 25, 2006
A Travissty
No PR is ever bad PR - Karen Traviss
Science Fiction fans are notorious for their rabid loyalty and dedication. But what obligation does the artist owe to his or her fans in return? I would venture that there is but one; do not insult them.
By "insult", I do not mean the traditional insult of putting out products such as The Matrix: Reloaded or Star Trek V, but rather, they denigrate a portion of their fan base something like this:
Except this is not a comedy and the insults are emanating from the parent company of the biggest sci-fi franchise there is. Yes, LucasFilm Ltd. is publicly insulting some of its fans. This segment in question tend to be more technically minded while enjoying the movies or books. They see the Death Star destroy a planet and ponder how powerful the weapon is. And while reading "Guide to the Grand Army of the Republic", they might wonder how only three million clone troopers can possibly wage a galaxy-wide conflict. Which brings us to the current situation.
So we start off with a traditional insult but unfortunately, it did not end there. When fans on TheForce.net began to question the veracity of the numbers, the author, Karen Traviss, attempted to personally defend it.
She failed.
So like any rational person faced with the realization that their argument is a slab of Swiss cheese, she labeled her detractors "Talifans" and claimed they have no life.
April 14, 2006
The name Talifan might be more apt than I ever thought, and rc_ghost's splendid phrase internet madrasas equally revealing.
Two key elements leap out at me: the insular nature of the deviant group, their previous normality until exposed to some idea or personal influence, and the "downward spiral" effect of them vying with each other to be more extreme - best described by former members of the Baader Meinhof gang in frank TV interviews.
This is clearly a universal phenomenon, but right now I'm not sure if I'm looking at one syndrome or a mix of aberrant behaviours manifesting similar symptoms. The internet element is a significant one in this, I feel. I get a whiff of Aspergers, OCD, religious orthodoxy, plain old normal human susceptibility, and a dozen other things.
And, yes, some of them - maybe most - might just be normal humans,and thus easily led and prone to conform.
Just like the clones*, in fact. How ironic.
But I need to unravel this.
I'll keep you abreast of what other dingbattery I unearth (every tie-in writer has a stack, I know) but at the moment I'm on the hunt for any academic who's done research into the psychology of obsession and anti-social behaviour among fans, be that in the context rock stars, actors or just grunt hacks like me.
Fascinating. Utterly fascinating. My gut reaction is that they all need garotting, but my rational self finds it all...fascinating.
(*Except the clones have sex lives. Chicks dig armour. )
I wonder if she floats the idea of killing off fans at Star Wars Insider meetings. Now, that was bad enough but when she writes on her VIP Blog on StarWars.com
Oct 6, 2005Angels, pinheads and inquisitions
I'm a bit tired of words today, so I thought I'd try an equation. It's about light and heat.
eW= ty x L /k
Where: eW = energy available (in watts)
ty = kilocalories spent in angry typing
k = opportunities wasted to do something useful in real life
L = length of the Super Star Destroyer x by systolic pressureI substituted a few numbers in that, and boy, there was a lot of wasted heat and not much light generated. I thought about getting a heat exchanger fitted, but then I tried something different.
sb = eW x r /ty
Where: sb = social benefit to real people
eW = energy available
ty = kilocalories spent typing angry responses
r = real issues requiring actionYou can see that if you reduce ty, then sb increases.
There are thousands of people in the world who would love to have no greater source of unhappiness in their lives than arguments about SSDs, GAR strengths and whether Han fired first - because they're being blown up by IEDs, or bombed, or starved, or being driven out of their homes by disasters and wars and any number of bad, real things. If the most upsetting thing that happened to them in their lives was arguing about Mara Jade's hair, they'd rejoice.Passion about fiction is great when it's fun and lighthearted, or when it provides respite or sheds light on real issues. But save your anger about it - on both sides of the argument - and channel it into improving real lives. Visit a vets' home. Send our troops books. If the military isn't your bag, then raise money for famine relief or help an animal shelter. But whatever you do, remember what's real and get het up about that.
Besides showing an ignorance of Physics (sad thing for a science fiction writer to be deficient of), she demonstrates a lack of respect for how people may decide to best enjoy their hobby. She assumes that if you try to "...synthesise and explore a self-consistent reality for that universe" you must not be doing anything worthwhile in the real world.
That is insulting and a false premise to boot. I'd wager that 90% of the people I know who are part of the so-called Talifandom do things that have a far greater impact on the world than Karen Traviss. And not just the scientists or the engineers, but even the bartenders too.
Finally, when an author licensed to write for LucasFilm is allowed to published such things on the official site, I must assume that such views are endorsed by the parent company. A company that holds this position is not worthy of either my loyalty or my money. I would rather support a franchise that has never faltered in its appreciation of its fans, tali or no.
I suppose this now means I have to buy Star Trek V.
Shit.
For further reading please reference Poe's Dark Side which contains many more examples of LucasFilm's attitude in general and Karen Traviss's specifically toward a large portion of its fan base.
Posted by Skayhan at 11:05 PM | Comments (0)
May 16, 2006
A Word From Our Sponser
Posted by Skayhan at 01:23 PM | Comments (0)
May 15, 2006
Loose Credits Part One
Don't believe the cover-up
Posted by Skayhan at 10:43 AM | Comments (0)
May 11, 2006
Coming Soon
Posted by Skayhan at 01:31 AM | Comments (0)
May 06, 2006
Star Trek Cribs and the Greatest Preacher Ever
Taking a break from Poe's, Dalton's, and my own disertations on the varying types of assholes and what belches forth, I give you the following:
I swear, you can find almost anything on YouTube...except for an episode of the original Ultraman.
Also, considering the subject of my earlier post, I thought long and hard about posting the following for fear that it might be seen as giving lie to my protestations. But fuck it, this is funny!
Posted by Skayhan at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)
May 05, 2006
The Color of My Skin
Because of the color of my skin, they laugh at the way I speak.
Because of the color of my skin, I must not like them.
Because of the color of my skin, they don't want me to make their drink.
Because of the color of my skin, I charge them too much.
Because of the color of my skin, they don't tip me.
Because of the color of my skin, they think nothing of insulting me.
Because of the color of my skin, I cut them off when they've had enough to drink and I'm tired of listening to them running their mouth.
Because of the color of my skin, I'm a racist.Thankfully, the people coming into my bar who think as the above are in a minority. But it is enough of a group to ruin an otherwise pleasant evening.
The truth is that I am a bartender who doesn't give anything away for free and will not get you drunk. I freely accept my regular role as the bad guy in certain situations. I am the one who will be sent over to cut you off. I will be the one to make sure you pay what is owed to us; no more, no less. I will be the one to kick you out when you have overstayed your welcome.
However, the way I treat you has nothing to do with the color of my skin, I merely have a low tolerance for bullshit. I understand that it is difficult to truly get to know me over the short time you are sitting at the bar, but to assume that I treat you different simply due to a difference in skin tones leads me to believe you may be a prejudiced fool. And life is far too short for me to deal with any more assholes than the one I already have (or am, depending on your point of view).
I yearn for the day when I can hang up my bar-towel forever. It has been too long in the coming.
Anyway, to lighten matters up somewhat, I will close with a quote from Chuck:
I'm watching this old tape today, and there's an MCI commercial about the Internet, and how wonderful and tranquil and beautiful it is. There's nice pre-Titanic music playing and a boy tossing flower petals and people appear saying the following: "There is no race. There is no gender. There are no infirmities. There are only minds."It's a thing of beauty, a spin that would make Herman Goerring proud.
I would like to re-shoot that commercial only, instead of little boys
throwing flowers, flash up posts off Usenet. Every one is genuine (and most are from ASVS). Enjoy.Titanic music starts playing...
There is no race
That little Jew Philip will post a public apology as soon as realized he will be in a little trouble if he doesn't....
You are a trendy fucking pussy ass niggerThere is no gender
This must be her "time of the month" then eh?Can we see you naked?
There are no infirmities
Good Grief, am I the only person on this NG who isn't on medication?There are only minds
All your base are belong to us!"The power of the Internet. Bringing people together, so they can fuel their hatred." MCI
EDIT: I finally found the original commercial.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:04 AM | Comments (0)
March 21, 2006
Cartoon Wars: A New Joke
Animation freedom fighters, striking from their hidden IP, have won their first victory against the oppressive Chrislam Juditologists. During the battle, Rebel Spies were able to post the forbidden South Park Scientology episode on YouTube.
Since it is unknown whether this posting was approved by Rebel High Command, you should watch it now before...
Cartoon Wars: The Lawyers Strike Back
or
Cartoon Wars: Tom Cruise come out of the closet!
Feeling the Force flowing.
Posted by Skayhan at 01:17 AM | Comments (0)
February 26, 2006
Tim Minear Interview in Instapundit
You don't often see links to blogs on this site (or frequent postings... sorry). However, I believe this will be of interest to most of those who read my site.
Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit, along with his wife, conducted an interview with Tim Minear, executive produce and writer of Firefly. Give a listen.
I hope to have something up later today dealing with the topic of racism. Unfortunately, it is difficult to find the humorous side of being accused of it. So allow me some sleep before tackling this very sensitive subject.
Related: It has been over five years since the legendary newsgroup event known in some small circles as "The Eclipse Thread". 
Shudder with me, brethren.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:59 AM | Comments (1)
February 04, 2006
Allah Says:
Root for the Steelers or else! - Koran (unedited): 11.124
I admire the sentiment, although I wouldn't put money down on a spread that wide.
This has to be one of the few foreign flags in the Middle East not on fire.
Woo-hoo! Tailgate! But I think I spy one Seahawks fan that is probably going to be stoned.
The latest odds out of Vegas are not received well.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:10 AM | Comments (1)
January 18, 2006
A Late Christmas Gift for Chuck
A few years ago, Chuck made a post regarding the inventor of the internet and his true intentions for his gift to the world. It seems that Chuck has a kindred spirit who has created a short musical number celebrating the crowning achievement of mankind.
This is for you, Chuck.
Now if I can only find a copy of that old MCI commercial: "The power of the Internet. Bringing people together, so they can fuel their hatred."
Posted by Skayhan at 05:35 PM | Comments (0)
December 06, 2005
It's Only a Theory
Posted by Skayhan at 07:37 PM | Comments (0)
December 05, 2005
Chomsky vs Dershowitz
The only BBS I frequent has had a moratorium on the Isreali/Palestinian issue for quite some time now. This is not to say that they ignore the course of events that occur there, but any length of posts regarding the subject invariably decend into bitter flamefests that produce absolutely nothing worthy of being added to a serious discussion.
After viewing the November 29th debate between Alan Dershowitz and Noam Chomsky at Harvard University, it is apparent that these debates (these two intellecutals have sparred each other numerous times since the 1970's) are no more productive then an internet flamewar.
Both spend far too much time going over who screwed the other over in years past (more Chomsky than Dershowitz) and occasionally casting not so subtle aspersions on the other's charachter (Dershowitz). In the end, however, it is my opinion that Alan Deshowitz comes off better in the exchanges simply because he does offer ideas to move the debate foreward. Perhaps the exchange would have been better had the moderator been General "don't get stuck on stupid" Honore.
I highly recommend watching the 1.5 hour long forum even if, ultimately, unfortunately, it won't make a bit of difference in finding a solution to the Isreali/Palestinian quagmire.
UNRELATED: I have disabled comments until I can reasonably eliminate the spam that has been occurring.
Posted by Skayhan at 08:50 PM | Comments (0)
October 27, 2005
Intelligent Design: an Admission
As the argument over whether ID should be taught in public schools begins to wind its way through a labyrinth that belies the very existence of intelligence, the US legal system, I feel it is time for me to come clean about the truth about the Power that guided the growth and diversity of life on Earth.
I did it.
There have been many complaints about My work; that it is not quite up to par with what is expected of a superior being. But to those who know Me, My revelation undoubtedly explains many of the quirks and holes in evolution. For everyone else, I hope to explain below why some things turned out apparently sub-standard. This is not meant to be a complete list by any means but, rather, a look into the mind and the situations that guided evolution.
The Dinosaurs: One word: octane
The Platypus: Sometimes you just want to see if it can be done.
The Blind Spot: I was simultaneously designing the human female breast, so I was a little distracted. This also explains two things: 1)why when you look at a pair of breasts, they seem to be staring right back at you and 2) why men's eyes naturally become fixated on those wonderfully soft bags of fun.
The Appendix: Like putting together an entertainment center that you bought at Ikea, you always seem to wind up with a few pieces left over. Looking back over the plans now, I think it was supposed to go on the end of the nose. Given humanity's penchant for those cute little button noses, I think the tradeoff for a slight chance of sudden painful death would be a welcome thing.
Sexual Reproduction: People needed something to do until the Playstation was invented.
The Female Orgasm: A practical joke gone horribly wrong. This one screw-up has probably led to more suffering than anything else inflicted on humanity, culminating in the contruction of the M3. I later tried to make up for it by allowing for multiple orgasms, but this turned out to be the origin of the phrase "too little too late."
Menstrual Cramps: After My above attempt at recompense were rebuffed, I admit to feeling a little bitter. I then tried to make up for this by balancing the equation with...
Male Pattern Baldness: I thought the trick of moving the hair off the head and down onto the back was a nice touch.
Homosexuality: Hot lesbians. I can happily watch an entire parade of gay men frolicking in dental floss for the chance to see two (or more) smoking chicks go at each other.
The Penis The main complaint about this piece of anatomy is that it is not aestetically pleasing. All I can say is wait a few thousand years for some of the more "colorful" features to kick into action. Hint: you'll be able to ask your partner to "taste the rainbow".
I believe that covers some of the highlights of the main questions people have about My work. However, if you have further questions, I will be more than happy to answer them for you. But to give fair warning, it's not likely going to match any preconcieved notions you hold dear.
And once again, I offer my sincerest apologies for any inconviences My work may have caused you. At least I'm not responsible for Battlefield Earth. That was Xenu's doing, so blame him.
Posted by Skayhan at 01:17 PM | Comments (0)
September 23, 2005
Porkbusters
|
It started innocently enough, Tom Delay made what was perhaps a sarcastic challenge by saying that the Republican majority had pared the budget down "pretty good" and "My answer to those that want to offset the spending [Katrina] is sure, bring me the offsets, I will be glad to do it, but no one has been able to come up with any yet". If it was a joke, then no one got it. |
Many right-leaning blogs heard Delay's pronouncement and said "Bullshit!" Among these was Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit. The idea he posted has now grown into a full-blown grassroots campaign of fiscal conservatives who are fed up with the Republican majority in Congress who claimed to be fiscally conservative while running for office but now apparently have aspirations to unseat Senator Byrd of West Virgina as the King of All Pork. They have set out to identify wasteful spending in the Federal budget that could be better used to offset the aftermath of Katrina (also now likely Rita) and query their representative on what pet project they'd be willing to part with.
While many senators and representatives have items slated for their states that could easily be done without, the biggest target is Republican Don Young of Alaska and his $223M "bridge to nowhere". A spokesman for the Senator called the idea of cuts from the transportation bill "moronic". This from a man who wants to build a highway for fifty people on an island with regular ferry service. It's likely that Sen. Young has a guitar amp that goes to eleven.
According to the responses thus far, the only member of Congress who has committed to cuts is California Senator Nancy Pelosi... excuse me, Democratic Senator Nancy Pelosi to the tune of $70M.
I don't know if the DNC has taken notice of what is going on (the RNC certainly hasn't), but the Republican Partly no longer has the steadfast loyalty of a large bloc of voters. If they were smart, the Democrats would jump on this opportunity like it was an intern. The term "fiscally conservative liberal Democrat" has a nice ring to it that they might actually turn into a winning platform.
I did say if.
There are some bloggers who are less than hopeful about the outcome of this internet spawned drive to cut pork. Jonah Goldberg writes, "The porkbusters fight is fun now, but not since early cave men tried to train grizzly bears to give them tongue-baths has a project seemed more obviously doomed to end in disappointment. Expecting Congress — of either party — to give back pork which has already been approved and passed into law is like expecting crack whores to give refunds days after services have been rendered."
I read the above and I can't help but ask, Chuck, have you been writing for New Republic under a pseudonym?
Posted by Skayhan at 05:14 PM | Comments (0)
September 20, 2005
Hurricane Rita: Don't Get Stuck on Stupid
That's the message from General Honore to the press.
Listen to the smackdown. Transcript and audio also available at Radio Blogger.
I feel infinitely more confident about the situation should Rita stike the mouth of the Mississippi River than I did the Sunday prior to Katrina. New Orlean Mayor C. Ray Nagin, until late yesterday under pressure from Federal officials, seemed determined to set the stage to compound the tragedy that is still ongoing in his city by reopening areas of the city against the advice of people such as Coast Guard Vice Adm. Thad Allen.
Thankfully, Nagin's not in charge of evacuating the city this time, nor is Michael Brown heading FEMA. Listening to Horore, it is possible to believe that any resource available to move people will be utilized and communication between state and federal levels will be more streamlined.
If only that lesson had not come at so high a price.
But to return to the subject of being "stuck on stupid", are you?
Do you know your city/town's evacuation plan (if it even has one)? Do you have a flashlight, first-aid kit, bottled water (available by the gallon), a battery powered radio (a CB radio would be an added bonus), or anything else listed on an emergency preparedness list? If you don't, you may be.
Or worse, do you think that this only happens to other people? You're not just stuck on stupid, you've established residency and are sending out change of address forms.
I live in Delaware, a state perhaps better known for DuPont or a Senator positioning himself for an inevitably disappointing presidential bid than tornados. But on September 28th last year, as the remnants of Ivan passed, I watched as one formed not 1000 yards away. A little jog to the east and I would have been a victim and not a witness. And from September 16th to the 18th, 1999, while I still lived in New Jersey, I remained trapped in my house until the water surrounding it (courtesy of Hurricane Floyd) receded. I was lucky twice, but the same rules apply here as in Vegas: eventually the house wins.
General Honore's message to the press applies to us all.
UPDATE: Video available here.
Posted by Skayhan at 07:23 PM | Comments (1)
August 02, 2005
Great Things Come in Tiny Packages
The latest press release featuring everyone's favorite fearless leader, Kim Jong-il, is the most inspiring thing since John Kerry's Magical Hat Tour of last year. However, the news article as it stand on both the official North Korean site and Yahoo News seemed a tad bit sketchy on the details. And so our intrepid investigative reporters here at ASVS-HN went to work (for once) and, risking life and limb, managed to dig up the sections that were edited out. These deletions have now been restored so that the full context and meaning can be grasped by our faithful readers... all six of you. Portions originally redacted will be in red.From Yahoo News: SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong-il never forgets a phone number, a cadre's career or a line of computer code. But he'll be dammed if he can remember just where he left those keys to the nuclear weapons fabrication plant. According to an article posted Tuesday on a Web site run by North Korea, Kim wakes up early every day for intensive memory training where he sits down and commits to his keen mind items such as the phone numbers of workers in his Stalinist state. "It's actually a lot of fun," he says, "After I memorize a number, I'll call them up. The conversation usually goes something like this:Hat tip: Ace of Spades HQThem: Hello?"Then there's the quiet sounds of footsteps as he goes to answer the door followed by the not so quiet sound of machine gun fire as my police execute him for lollygagging on the phone when he should be working! I've tried bombs but that leaves a terrible ringing in my ear." "I remember all computer codes and telephones that workers are using now," Kim was quoted as saying on the Web Site "Uri-Min-jok-kiri" (www.uriminzokkiri.dprkorea.com), or "Among our People.""The computer codes are simple since all codes are 'Kim Jong-il'. The phones were tricky at first but it has actually been getting easier as it seems there are fewer phone numbers in existance each passing day," he continued, "though I can't fathom why." Kim surprised a group of North Korean officials attending a meeting in 2002 by recalling all their phone numbers "with lightning speed," the site said. It took Kim all of one second to say, 'Zero'. On a day Kim visited a cemetery, he looked around at the tombs and he remembered the achievements ("He almost made it over the border"), characteristics ("He screamed like a little girl when we cut his legs off"), tastes ("Like Chicken"), and bereaved family members for hundreds of the dead by a quick glance at the names on tombstones ("Killed him, killed him, killed him, dad killed him, killed him..."), it said. "All the attendants were surprised at his incredible memory," the site says, "And just a little creeped out." North Korean propaganda is ripe with the amazing achievements of its Dear Leader. The highly controlled state also closely monitors its citizens to make sure they do not speak out against Kim or challenge his rule. Kim pilots jet fighters, pens operas, produces movies and accomplished a feat unmatched in the annals of professional golf by shooting 11 holes-in-one on the first round he ever played.
Me: Is this Mr. Faithful Worker?
Them: Yes, who is this?
Me: This is Kim Jong-il, Fearless Leader!
Them: Oh wow! This is such an honor!
Me: I know I know. Say, is that someone knocking at your door?
Them: No, there's no one... wait, someone is knocking now.
Me: Well go on, answer it. I'll wait.
Kim is still an avid golfer as shown in this picture taken last week. He only managed 10 holes-in-one that day. The Web Site said Kim told all workers they should develop their ability to memorize. "The memory of a person gets better when a person uses their brain often," he was quoted as saying. In honor of Kim Jong-il's superiority over all mere mortals, the North Korean government has opted to remove all current pictures of their Fearless Leader in favor of this more accurate visage:
Posted by Skayhan at 05:23 PM | Comments (0)
July 19, 2005
Does Paul Begala Think I Want to Kill Him?
According to CNSNews he does:Young liberals this week flocked to the nation's capital to hear, among other things, liberal television pundit and Democrat political strategist Paul Begala accuse Republicans of wanting to kill him and his children to preserve tax cuts for the rich.Wow, that's quite a thing to say. That is, if that's what he really said. Let's take a listen...
Bush: If there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of. . . . If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action.Not seeing a change in position there. A better argument all along would have been that the President should release the leaker(s) regardless of whether the letter of the law was violated. That would avoid all the legalese that aggravated many people with Clinton and might even raise Bush in the eyes of some of his detractors. Okay, that last part is wishful thinking but you never can tell.
Posted by Skayhan at 05:57 PM | Comments (0)
June 26, 2005
Saving Wilmington
Yesterday, the residents of the northeast section of Wilmington, Delaware were treated to a impromptu police parade. As part of the day's festivities, workshops on rousting, vehicle checkpoints, and probation/parole enforcement were held. There were even raids of suspected drug houses for the amusement of the neighborhood children. A great time was had by all. According to Wilmington Public Safety Director James Mosley, Operation Safe Communities is not merely about entertainment, but is also meant to raise public awareness of what police work is really about."We're here to get the criminal element out of this area and give it back to the citizens who have been prisoners in their own homes for too long," he said.Of course, when (not if) this initiative is deemed a failure in the long haul, there is another plan, a comprehensive plan, that could be put into action to eliminate the crime plagued and economicaly challenged areas of Wilmington: Operation Bulldozer. OB would be the second phase of the "Greater New Castle County" plan. Under this proposal, the entire northeast section of Wilmington between North Market Street and the Delaware River will be condemned and leveled to make way for a virtual cornicopia of tax revenue increasing hotel casinos and other entertainment complexes that would easily put Atlantic City to shame.
Efforts to secure Wayne Newton are already underway and five Elvis impersonators have been sighted within the city limits. Momentum is picking up. The existing parks in the area will remain and will, in fact, be improved in numerous ways to provide a picturesque landscape for the visitor. The slots currently located at Delaware Park in Stanton will be maintained if they are able to sustain current profits while in competion with Las Wilmington. Replacing eyesores such as the Riverside housing project and old sneakers dangling from telephone wires would be extravagent, dazzling structures and beckoning neon lights. Instead of the sounds of gunfire and sirens, only the wonderfully deafening sound of cha-ching into the public coffers would be heard. Anticipating the outcry over the disposition of the people displaced by this most excellent change, it is suggested that free ferry service be provided to aid in relocation of them to the shores of Camden, New Jersey which, it is rumored, is planning its own revitaliztion project on their side of the Delaware River. Remember, the problems of the poor only matter if the poor in question reside within the borders of your state. Let's do it to them before they do it to us. With its close proximity to Philadelphia and major transportion such as Amtrak/SEPTA (for easy access to NYC or Washington, DC), I-95, and major airports such as PHI and the forthcoming Delaware International, the possible tourist influx would be immense. Sussex County has already noted the possibilities inherent for the beach-going tourist and is tentatively looking at the option of completely revamping the shoreline from Rehoboth to Dewey with increasing the capacity of the train service between Wilmington and the shore points along with another line of casinos that would replace those weather beaten private homes along the beach in a plan with the current working title: Rio de Rehoboth. A greater Delaware indeed! Money Quote:
Gregg Wilson, New Castle County attorney, said the court's decision "appears to open some interesting opportunities to benefit the community, when used fairly and judiciously."I'm betting there was a wink in there somewhere.
Posted by Skayhan at 01:16 PM | Comments (0)
June 24, 2005
A Greater New Castle, a Greater Delaware
When I first learned that the Delaware Air National Guard would be losing its base at the New Castle County Airport due to budget cuts and general force realignment, I thought that the best course of action for the airfield would be a plan to aggressivly expand its capacity. A regional airport situated halfway between Baltimore and Philadelphia International could be a lucrative deal for the city and county of New Castle as well as the state of Delaware. Given the favorable laws for business in the state and the inevitable tax incentives that would entail, I felt certain airlines would be drawn to it. There was only one problem: no room to expand.
The airport is bounded by Route 13 to the East and residential neiborhoods to the North and West. Although not an affluent area, the homes are well kept and no signs of blight can be discerned. It is unlikely that the city would have been able to condemn these lands in order to expand the airport even though it would be for a public use. But now, thanks to the Supreme Courts decision in Kelo v. City of New London, all that has changed. Now that tax revenues are no longer "to be used for the public good" but are a public good unto themselves, it is possible to create an airport that can rival the best in the world and put BWI and PHI to shame. Because the revenue generated for the community by a major airport would easily outmatch those by property taxes, there is no reason to confine the airport expansion to the area around the existing airfield. A whole new state of the art facility can be built over the razed neighborhoods that lie to the east of Route 13. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you my well thought out and comprehensive plan for a greater New Castle: Delaware International Airport!
Airport code: DEI (see how far ahead the thinking for this plan is!) Notice how we keep the county airport as it is in order to accomodate lighter aircraft and also support equipment for it's larger brother. Right there you have major cost saver! Reasonable people may ask what will become of the families and small business owners who will be forced out because of this project. Well, the Supreme Court's decision cleary states, "Fuck 'em!" Besides, I'm sure they will be paid a fair price for their property. After all, why would a developer lowball a condemned property? Business owners will have the option of having a store within one of the terminals; if they can afford it, of course. If they can't, Au Bon Pain or TGI Friday's is just waiting in the wings to scoop up the prime locations. Yes, a Friday's already exists in New Castle, but imagine one in each of the three terminals. By God, it would be grand! Now sure, this plan effectively erases New Castle as any kind of residential city but think of the money and jobs that will be created. That is clearly a greater public good than anything like a nice neighborhood. Besides, most of the people living there are either minorities or poor white trash so in removing them, the city also reduces crime and poverty. You may need to read that again in case you thought your eyes were decieving you. They were not. By building this airport, jobs will be created, revenue will be increased for the city, county, and state; plus crime and poverty will be eradicated. How much public good could you ask for? This plan is indeed so comprehensive, so well thought out, and just so damn wise I'm amazing myself, which is no small feat in of itself. And satisfying my ego is perhaps the greatest public good there is. Eminent Domain: All your home are belong to us! EDIT: I take no credit for the last line, someone else said it first. UPDATE: It has been pointed out to me that my plan does not take full advantage of the Kelo decision. To redress this oversight, I have returned to the drawing board and have come up with an even more comprehensive plan. If there were to be any left after I'm through, I'm sure that a school would have been named after me. I will present my magnum opus for the state of Delaware later this evening.
Posted by Skayhan at 11:55 AM | Comments (1)
June 17, 2005
Motor Morality
Two weeks ago I was to have embarked upon my vacation. I was either going to Europe or Asia (I hadn't yet decided) but it really wouldn't have mattered where I had wound up so long as I was out of Delaware. Unfortunately, my plans were stillborn in the middle of April when my '89 Jeep suffered a complete breakdown. Within the course of a week, The front right tire developed a slow leak, the rear breaks needed repair, the radiator began to hemmorage, and finally, the transmission, feeling left out of all the fun, decided to go on strike. Now I don't consider the car dead. Rather, it has entered a persistive immobile state. I have consulted with many auto mechanics who have recommended that I face up to the reality of the situation and junk the car. They said the Jeep had run its course and I would be facing undue financial and psychological hardship trying to keep the car running. Call me squimish but I was not yet ready to have it commited to the junkyard. And so the car has remained in stasis awaiting its fate. But I had to continue on with my life. I needed to be able to get to work and carry out day to day errands. So shortly after the jeep became unresponsive, I purchased a new(er) car off eBay; a '94 Saab 900s. It is a much sleeker car than the Jeep and has greater safety features than its predecessor. Not to mention it has more bells and whistles which, like any guy, always catches my eye. I have indeed fallen in love with the Saab, but does that nessasarily mean that I am cold and callous toward the dispostion of the Jeep? No. It simply means that I am closer to finally doing what I should have done two months ago and put the Jeep out of its misery.
I hear the local AAA chapter is going to
hold a candlelight vigil at the Chrysler
plant in town and may also sue for
custody of the Jeep. If they do so, I
will fight it with every resource I have
at my disposal. I may even court the
preemptive action of selling it myself on
eBay as a parts car. They can call it
cruel to dismantle the car before it has
passed but I need to recoup some of my
losses. After all, because of this
situation, I was unable to take my
trip.
Which brings me to the point of this
yarn. On the day I was originally to have
left to whatever my destination was to
have been, I ran into a woman I used to
work with that I had always been
attracted to but had never asked out. Not
that day. On the spur of the moment, I
asked her out. We've now been seeing each
other for two weeks and believe me when I
say she has all the bells and whistles I
could ask for.
She even has the complete Farscape
collection. Beat that!
Posted by Skayhan at 07:49 AM | Comments (0)
May 13, 2005
CBS News, a Glutton for Punishment
Is CBS Doing it Again?
In a May 9th report on the judicial filibuster battle, CBS News quoted Ken Starr as coming out against the Republican's proposed use of the "nuclear option".
However, Ken Starr is now stating that the quotes that CBS used have been taken completely out of context.
"I have now seen the CBS report. Attached is an exchange with Steve Engle, who alerted me earlier today to the other dimensions of the wild misconstruction of what I said in the Gloria Borger interview. Here's a brief background. I sat on Saturday with Gloria Borger for 20 minutes approximately, had a wide ranging, on-camera discussion. In the piece that I have now seen, and which I gather has been lavishly quoted, CBS employed two snippets. The 'radical departure from our history' snippet was specifically addressed to the practice of invoking judicial philosophy as a grounds for voting against a qualified nominee of integrity and experience. I said in sharp language that that practice was wrong. I contrasted the current practice and that employed viciously against your [Engle's] father with what occurred during Ruth Ginsburg's nomination process as numerous Republicans voted, rightly, to confirm a former ACLU staff worker. They disagreed with her positions as a lawyer but they voted -- again rightly -- to confirm her. Why? Because elections, like ideas, have consequences. You know all this too well and indeed painfully well, as we remember the terrible ordeal of Bob Bork in 1987. In the interview I did indeed suggest and have suggested elsewhere that caution and prudence be exercised in shifting or modifying rules but I likewise made clear that the filibuster represents an entirely new use and misuse of a venerable tradition. Anyway our folks here at Pepperdine's public information office are scrambling to get the full transcript of the entire interview but our friends are way off base in assuming that the CBS snippets as used represent, A, my views, or B, what I in fact said. Kindly feel free to share this message with anybody you deem appropriate."
If this was merely a case of editing producing a mistaken view, wouldn't the reporter try to correct that impression? Gloria Borger had that oppurtunity during an exchange with Bob Schieffer at the end of the segment:
If what Starr says is true, then CBS News has willfully distorted his views. Already, editorials repeating Starr's statement associated with the slant put forth by the CBS report have appeared. From the Indianapolis Star
"Frist's threat to go nuclear isn't setting off alarms only among left-wing organizations and Democratic operatives. Conservative legal scholar Ken Starr, the former Whitewater prosecutor who is now dean of Pepperdine University law school, told CBS News that the Republicans' plan is a "radical, radical departure from our history and our traditions, and it amounts to an assault on the judicial branch of government."Ken Starr has been attempting to recieve the full transcript of his interview with Gloria Borger. Thus far, CBS has not done so and there are unconfirmed reports that it is in fact refusing to do so. If CBS News is stonewalling, it will illustrate that they have learned absolutly nothing from the Rathergate fiasco. Maybe they enjoy getting pummeled in the blogs and elsewhere. Or worse still, perhaps they just don't care.
Posted by Skayhan at 04:45 AM | Comments (0)
May 07, 2005
The Star Wars Original Trilogy DVD? Non!
In two short weeks, the final entry of the Star Wars saga will descend upon us. Already the media blitz hocking everything from video games to (oh for crying out loud) "Dark Side M&M's" assaults me at every turn. And while I may succumb to the temptation of evil candy (rot your teeth and your soul), there is one Star Wars item that I will never purchase: the original trilogy DVD.
Why would a self-professed Star Wars geek like myself refuse the cutting edge media format for my favorite saga? Well...
Greedo still shoots first. I had hoped that this abomination, which has been roundly denounced, would be restored to its classic form (find me one person outside of LucasFilm who applauded this change. And no, Steven "I turn guns into walkie-talkies" Spielberg doesn't count). The reasons that this is a cinematic sin have been oft told and need no retelling here. Save that are we supposed to believe that Han wasn't going to kill Greedo anyway, regardless of him actually shooting? The whole thing reminds me of a line from Gremlins 2: "Tonight, on the Clamp Cable Classic Movie Channel, don't miss Casablanca, now in full color and with a happier ending." That was a comment on Ted Turner supposedly ruining classic films by colorizing them. Ironically, Gremlins is a Spielberg movie.
Then there were things that actually needed fixing but weren't.
And then there is this scene, which has always vexed me. (right-click and zoom to full screen to make it easier to view)
How simple would it be to edit out the dead space like this?
But personally, I'd have done something like this:
And then there will be the mind-numbing commentary included in the "extras" features. I made the mistake once of listening to this for the Phantom Menace DVD. Combined with my reaction to the character of Jar-Jar, my first thought was to categorize this movie next to Showgirls (Yes, sadly I own this "film") as dangerous to one’s sanity. If you ever have trouble sleeping, put on the section of the deleted scenes where they go on for three hours about how they added the waterfall at Naboo and I guarantee you slumber in no time.
Here's a suggestion for directors and actors when they're making a commentary track: follow the example of View Askew's commentary track for Clerks and get drunk while you're watching the film and talk about what's happening on screen, or failing that, something vaguely interesting. I don't care to listen for half an hour about how you prepare to play pretend on screen or the difficulty in choosing a wardrobe designer. Rather, I wanted to hear Portman say, "Did anyone notice I seem to have camel toe in this scene?" or Lucas kicking a passed-out Ewan McGregor while asking, "Can you feel the Force now?" Perhaps it would simplify the idea to combine the wrap party with recording the commentary track. Just leave the mic in a room with the film running and let whoever wanders in say whatever they want. It certainly would have made it more interesting to wonder what couple added the twenty minutes of body-slapping heavy breathing during the pod-racing scene than what we are actually given.
But the main reason I will not buy the Stars Wars DVD is that I have bought this movie three times already! First I bought the digitally remastered VHS tapes when they came out. Then I bought "Star Wars Trilogy: The Definitive Collection" laserdisc set followed shortly by the Special Edition LDs. And I assure you that soon you will be faced with the option of buying the "Ultra Super Special Star Wars Six Pack" on DVD. I'm just going to wait ten more years for the HD-DVD. That at least might be worth the cost.
Now, the only reason I watch the SE LD despite the flaws noted above is that it is in 5.1 surround. But thanks to the availability of home video editing I will not have to suffer for much longer. For I will undertake the task that others have done and burn my own DVD from the laserdiscs, combing the best of both editions. I will have my Dolby Digital, 24 fps, no Vader gesturing without dialogue, Hayden will not appear at the end of Return of the Jedi, and Solo will shoot first. History will be preserved. Hallelujah!
Perhaps I'll even attempt to fix Ben's lightsaber while I'm at it.
Posted by Skayhan at 12:59 AM | Comments (2)
May 06, 2005
Just a little test
I know I haven't been writing much of late but that should soon be changing. In the meantime, I'm playing around with adding video. Please bear with any glitches.
Sure, I could put video of myself up, but who wants to look at that?
Okay. But remember, I warned you.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:54 AM | Comments (1)
April 22, 2005
[MiSTing] The Stolen Laptop
[Satellite of Love]
*...2....3...4...5...6...door
Crow: ...and that's how I rigged the papal election.
Tom Servo: Wow, I thought that Ratzinger winning was a little strange.
Crow: It was even harder than fixing the U.S. Presidential elections.
Servo: How did you do that?
Crow: I made sure John Kerry won the Democratic nomination.
Servo: But why?
Crow: Because Bush winning would drive Mike crazy.
Mike Nelson [enters picture]: What would drive me crazy?
Servo: Oh nothing, nothing.
Mike: Well...all right. Hello everyone, and welcome to the Satellite of Love. As you can see we're still in the process of taking down our Kerry and Edwards posters... still can't figure out how Bush won... and what are you two laughing about?
Crow: Just a joke Servo told me, I'd tell you but I'm not going to.
Mike: Nevermind, Karl Rove is calling. Hit the light.
[Deep 13]
Dr Forrester: Still see you're not over the election yet, eh my little white mice? Well I hope you fools have had a nice vacation because as of right now the experiments are about to commence again.
[SOL]
Mike: Well actually, we we're kinda hoping that...
[Deep 13]
Dr. Forrester: And have we got a doozy for you this week. A professor at UC Berkeley had his laptop stolen and in this over-the-top webcast tries to scare the thief into returning it. It's a clip I like to call "Putting the fear of God into the little bastards".
Play time's over Nelson! Send it up, Frank.
[SOL]
Mike, Tom, Crow: Oh, we've got webcast sign!
6...5...4...3...2...*
Thanks Gary. I have a message for one person in this audience -
Crow: I love you
I'm sorry the rest of you have to sit through this. As you know, my computer was stolen in my last lecture. The thief apparently wanted to betray everybody's trust, and was after the exam. The thief was smart not to plug the computer into the campus network, but the thief was not smart enough to do three things:
Mike: Get accepted to MIT?
...he was not smart enough to immediately remove Windows.
Servo: Well, that pretty much goes for everyone who get a computer loaded with it.
I installed the same version of Windows on another computer - within fifteen minutes the people in Redmond Washington were very interested to know why it was that the same version of Windows was being signalled to them from two different computers.
Crow: Microsoft? Fifteen minutes?
Mike: Shhh! He's rolling.
The thief also did not inactivate either the wireless card or the transponder that's in that computer. Within about an hour, there was a signal from various places on campus that's allowed us to track exactly where that computer went every time that it was turned on.
Crow: Like the women's locker room. I know I'd like to be turned on there.
Servo: Yeah, where's the webcast of that?
Mike: Calm down you two.
I'm not particularly concerned about the computer. But the thief, who thought he was only stealing an exam, is presently - we think - is probably still in possession of three kinds of data, any one of which can send this man, this young boy, actually, to federal prison. Not a good place for a young boy to be.
Servo: Mike, is he threatening the boy with what I think he is?
Mike: Jail? Well, yes.
Servo: No, I mean... [whispers into Mike's ear]
Mike: Ahhhhh!
Crow: Yep, that's one mean teacher.
You are in possession of data from a hundred million dollar trial, sponsored by the NIH, for which I'm a consultant. This involves some of the largest companies on the planet...
Mike: TGI Friday's?
Crow: Starbucks?
Servo: Wal-Mart?
Crow: Truly the "Axis of Evil".
The NIH investigates these things through the FBI, they have been notified about this problem.
Servo: The FBI: protecting America against terrorism, kidnapping, and stolen laptops.
You are in possession of trade secrets from a Fortune 1000 biotech company, the largest one in the country, which I consult for. The Federal Trade Communication is very interested in this. Federal Marshals are the people who handle that.
Mike: Cool! Tommy Lee Jones is on the case. He's really in trouble now.
You are in possession of proprietary data from a pre-public company planning an IPO. The Securities and Exchange Commission is very interested in this and I don't even know what branch of law enforcement they use.
Crow: And even if I did I wouldn't tell you. So there!
Your academic career is about to come to an end.
Mike: You're ready to become CEO of a major company.
You are facing very serious charges, with a probability of very serious time. At this point, there's very little that anybody can do for you. One thing that you can do for yourself is to somehow prove that the integrity of the data which you possess has not been corrupted or copied.
Servo: And all my porn had better be there too.
Ironically, I am the only person on the planet that can come to your aid, because I...
Mike: Have super powers!
...am the only person that can tell whether the data that was on that computer are still on that computer. You will have to find a way of hoping that if you've copied anything that you can prove you only have one copy of whatever was made.
Crow: If that video of me dancing in my underwear to "YMCA" shows up on the internet, so help me God.....
I am tied up all this afternoon
Mike: And how do you register for that class?
I am out of town all of next week. You have until 11:55 to return the computer, and whatever copies you've made, to my office, because I'm the only hope you've got of staying out of deeper trouble than you or any student I've ever known has ever been in.
Servo: More than Ted Kaczinski?
Mike: The Unabomber was never a student at Berkeley.
Servo. Oh, right. But still...
I apologise to the rest of you for having to bring up this distasteful matter, but I will point out that we have a partial image of this person, we have two eyewitnesses, with the transponder data we're going to get this person
Crow: You had me at "Thanks Gary!"
*...2....3...4...5...6...door
Servo: See? That's why my laptop is laced with explosives. Anyone tries to steal it and BOOM!
Mike: Don't you think that's a little drastic?
Crow: No, not at all, I even lined my room with C-4 to keep out intruders. I have a remote control to detonate it from wherever I am.
Mike: But your room is right next to the reactor!
Crow: All I have to do is push this button and.....
All items related to Mystery Science Theater 3000 are property of Best Brains, Inc.
UPDATE (4/25/05): The above link "Putting the fear..." originally led to an ABC News story complete with the video of the professor's tirade. However, the story was taken down for some reason. The new link repeats the information but lacks the video. You may find the audio link from the picture at the top of the post.
Posted by Skayhan at 03:59 AM | Comments (0)
April 08, 2005
The Dead Pope Sketch
As Dalton notes below, they're finally going to put the pope in the ground later, now, or earlier today depending on your timezone. Now for the past week, was it just me, or was the Vatican performing the live version of "Weekend at Bernie's III"? If so, they were not living up to the comic standards of the earlier films. Perhaps it's because they were unable to secure actor Andrew McCarthy for the scheduled dates of the performance or maybe it is due to poor writing, but the presentation has been sadly lacking in humor. I mean, where was the slap-stick antics as two young priests convince the congregation the pope is still able to transform the Eucharist via rope and pullies? Or how about when they somehow lose track of the body only to hear the stunned crowd as JP II drives wildly through Vatican Square only to crash into the St. Peter's Basilica. Throw a musical number in there somewhere and they could have swept the Tony's. Of course, if all else failed, they could have gone the Monty Python route: Customer enters Vatican Gift Shop wheeling in the Pope before him. Bishop stands behind counter in full regalia.'Ello, Sister? What do you mean "Sister"? I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint! I'm afraid we're closin' for vespers. Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this pope what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique. Oh yes, the, uh, the Polish Pontiff...what's uh...what's wrong with it? I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it! No, no, 'e's uh...he's resting. Look, matey, I know a dead pope when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now. No no he's not dead, he's... he's restin'! Remarkable See, the Polish Pontiff, idn'it, ay? Beautiful garments! The garments don't enter into it. It's stone dead. Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting! All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up. 'Ello, your Eminence!! I've got a lovely fresh Eucharist for you if you show... [owner hits the wheelchair] There, he moved! No, he didn't, that was you hitting the chair! I never!! Yes, you did! I never, never did anything... [yelling and shaking the the chair violently] 'ELLO POPEY!!!!! WAKEY! WAKEY! This is your nine o'clock alarm call! [Takes pope out of the chair and thumps its head on the counter. Releases it and watches it crumble to the floor.] Now that's what I call a dead pope. No, no.....No, 'e's stunned! STUNNED?!? Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Polish Pontiffs stun easily, major. Um...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That pope is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged prayer. Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the chapel. PININ' for the CHAPEL?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home? The Polish Pontiff prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable See, id'nit, squire? Lovely garments! Look tosh, I took the liberty of examining that pope when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting upright in its chair in the first place was that he had been NAILED there. Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that pope down, he would have jumped up outta that chair, hopped in his little pope-mobile and VOOM! "VOOM"?!? Mate, this pope wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised! No no! 'E's pining! 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This pope is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the chair 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'inoperative! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! (PAUSE) E' fucking SNUFFED IT!!! THIS IS AN EX-pope!! Well, I'd better replace it, then. Do you have your receipt? Receipt? I just came here to make a complaint. I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition. [Door to shop burst open as three scarlet-clad figures rush into the shop.] NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I expect a higher entertainment value from the Mother Church. And I may be going to hell for writing the above, but you're all going with me for having read it. Donutis un Biscutus, Amen.
Posted by Skayhan at 08:18 AM | Comments (2)
March 23, 2005
Possible Source for Schiavo "Talking Points"
ABC News is reporting a story under the title "GOP Talking Points on Terri Schiavo." This is based on a Sunday Washington Post article by Mike Allen which states the following:In a memo distributed only to Republican senators, the Schiavo case was characterized as "a great political issue" that could pay dividends with Christian conservatives, whose support is essential in midterm elections such as those coming up in 2006ABC News gives the impression that this is an official GOP produced memo. Aside from having the wrong bill number, no signature, or letterhead, why should a major news reporter expect the public to believe its veracity? Mike Allen had this to say about the source for the memo in an online Q&A:
The memo is unsigned. Because of the conditions under which it was provided to us, we frustratingly cannot tell our readers all that we know about its provenance. But I would not have put it in an article if I were not certain of its authenticity and relevance – i.e., senators had it on the floor.Translation: Believe it because he says so. And what's with the cloak and dagger overtones? He's talking about a talking points memo not classified documents. However, the Traditional Values Coalition's website has a page with the same text as the memo but the correct bill number. The coalition urges people to email this to their congressman via their website but with the following caveat:
Please note, the article will NOT be automatically inserted or referenced in your letter. You must copy and paste it or give them the web page URL yourself. (source)Here is a screencap (click to enlarge)
While some senators may have had this memo on the floor of the Senate, it does not appear that it was distributed by the GOP as the ABC article would seem to indicate but rather because of a concerted effort by a lobbyist group.
UPDATE (8:00 AM): The story was originally from another ABC News report from Saturday, March 19th and not a Washington Post article as written above. ABC News passed the memo to the Post and not the other way around.
A timeline of the story can be found here.
Posted by Skayhan at 06:23 AM | Comments (0)
March 21, 2005
Out of Place Protesters?
This past weekend was the second anniversary of the invasion of Iraq. In celebration of that event, various goups came out to "party". However, not all of the participants were there to protest the war. In fact, some seemed to have made the proverbial wrong turn in Albuquerque. Here are a few of them.
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In California, no opportunity is missed to pay homage (no matter how poor or subtle) to a great Hollywood movie. |
From Rhode Island. At least this woman has a legitimate gripe. Rove's evil is truly all-emcompassing! |
Also from R.I. is this refugee from over the rainbow. She's not sure of the name of the girl who stole and sold her property on Ebay, but she is certain the girl voted for Bush. |
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MORE WITCHES!! |
These two are apparently upset that the U.S. wasn't quite harsh enough. "There's no diplomatic problem that a few megatons can't solve." |
| Make special note of the man carrying the "Women in Black" sign. |
Doesn't hurt that the girl is cute.
Posted by Skayhan at 04:14 AM | Comments (0)
March 19, 2005
Another Case of Forged Documents
In yesterday's Washington Post, Howard Kurtz writes about an apparent hoax that attempts to implicate NBC reporter William Arkin.The Pentagon says the supposed Defense Intelligence Agency cable is a forgery. Arkin says it's "chilling" and is demanding an investigation. The NBC News military analyst says he became aware of the bogus document when a Washington Times reporter called about the spying allegation and sent him a copy. ...Bill Gertz, the Times national security reporter who called Arkin, did not respond to two messages. Managing Editor Francis Coombs said: "We don't talk about stories we haven't put in the paper. But at this point, we do not have a story scheduled to run."This section in the article strikes an odd chord:
Arkin cited several technical reasons why the cable is fake, mainly having to do with military addresses and abbreviations, and a reference to "proctor canular procedures." Canular, he discovered through a Google translation service, means hoax in French. In a letter to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Arkin said: "I am extremely concerned that someone familiar with Defense Department classified reporting has forged this document and given it to the press in the hope that it would be reported as genuine. Such an action raises deeply troubling questions about the integrity of the department's processes and raises the possibility of an organized effort to intimidate me as a journalist."The two bolded sections would seem to be in opposition. Now this may be due to Kurtz's choice in quoting Arkin, or rather, what he chose not to quote: Why Arkin assumes that this forgery originated in the Defense Department, given that he says the addresses and abbreviations used are incorrect. Also:
Gertz and Arkin have tangled before. Gertz co-authored a Washington Times column last month saying that Gen. Richard Myers, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, had ordered an investigation of "possible national security damage" from Arkin's book. Arkin called that report "a complete fabrication."From the way Kurtz writes this article, Arkin's concerned letter should have been written to the Washington Times and not the Defense Department. Perhaps the documents should be released for the public to see for themselves. As was seen in the Bush TANG forgeries, it is always possible to track things like this back to the source. Unlike Rathergate, the phrase "fake but accurate" will never be used in this instance.
Posted by Skayhan at 10:50 AM | Comments (2)
March 16, 2005
The New Bugs Bunny
In case you hadn't heard, Bugs Bunny isn't hip enough for today's youth so the WB Network is going to re-imagine the long-standing icon into an "extreme" version of itself. If you're like me, there are some things that shouldn't be messed around with (like Han Solo shooting first) lest you raise the collective ire of your fanbase. Of course, if the intended "Loonatics" is anything resembling the animation linked to in the pic below, I'll definately watch that show.Parents, cover your kids' ears before clicking the link below; Bugs has a more colorful vocabulary than you might be accustomed to.
Final thought: Bugs seems to have a fascination for what Chuck has an aversion to.
Posted by Skayhan at 10:23 PM | Comments (1)
Day of the Hat
ASVS-HN is proud to present another excerpt from the soon to be New York Times bestseller, At Least I Got Paid: An Insider's Perspective on the Kerry Campaign for President.Chapter 7: Day of the Hat On Thursday, July 29th, still trailing in the polls, John Kerry was about to take the stage for the final night of the Democratic National Convention in Boston to give the most important speech of his political career. The eyes of America would be tuning in to see the official introduction of the Democratic nominee for President and to learn his vision for the next four years. The stakes couldn't possibly be higher. Perhaps that explains why Kerry decided to put in the "fix". Earlier that afternoon, Kerry and his staff had just finished putting the final touches on his speech. Locked away in Kerry's suite, they had trimmed it down to just under an hour by tightening up the language and delivery. To do any more would subtract from the message they needed to get across to the nation. Confident that all was set for a momentous kick-off to the final stretch of the campaign, the writers and advisors were about to head to the bar for a few and then relax before the night's main event. They were almost to the door when Kerry stopped them. "There is still something missing," he said. Puzzled, Bob Schrum responded, "I don't see what it might be. We hit all the major points and many of the minor ones. Anything else would be dragging the speech out too long and we run the risk of viewers tuning out." Kerry smiled. "Don't worry Bob, it's not the speech. The speech is perfect and I can't thank all of you enough for your hard work and dedication. What I am talking about has to do with adding something to what I will be wearing this evening." The group visibly relaxed, most assumed that he intended to adorn his lapel with the yellow ribbon that had come to be a popular symbol of supporting the troops in Iraq. It would be an excellent touch. It was also flatly wrong. "I'm going to wear the Hat," the Senator stated simply. Jill Alper, who had worked on previous campaigns for Kerry, muttered "Oh no, not now." Foreign affairs advisor, Randy Beers asked, "I'm sorry, the what?" "You know, my lucky hat, the one that CIA guy gave to me when I was in Vietnam. I've told you all about that," Kerry explained. "Yes, but sir," Steve Elmendorf intoned, "I'm not sure that wearing a hat, even a lucky one, is such a good idea, especially for the most important speech of your life." "But it's not just a lucky hat," added Kerry, his eyes widening in excitement, "it's a magic hat. Here, let me show you." As the Presidential hopeful crossed the room to the bed where his briefcase lay, Alper made an attempt to deflect the strange direction the meeting had suddenly taken. "Senator, perhaps we could discuss this later," she suggested, adding sotto voce, "in private." But John Kerry was not to be deterred. "It's all right, I can trust them. After all, they trust me to be the next President of the United States." Brushed aside, Alder stepped back to watch helplessly as the tragedy unfolded before her. With his back to the campaign staff, Kerry opened his briefcase and reached deep inside a pocket no one had ever seen him delve into. He then lowered his head while his hands made a downward motion on both sides towards his ears. He quickly spun around to face the confused group (only Mary-Beth Cahill seemed unaffected and was nodding sagely) and with a smile beaming widely on his face asked, "See?" "I don't see a thing, Mr. Kerry," Shrum accused. "Of course you don't," Kerry gleefully replied, " I told you, it's a magic hat and only I can see or feel it." Beers suddenly burst out laughing. "I get it! You're busting our chops! Trying to break the tension for tonight's speech. Come one, 'fess up!" But Kerry turned deathly serious. "When I was behind Bill Weld in 1996, no one thought I could come back and win. I was written off as a loser before the first vote was even cast. So one day I was rummaging through some old stuff when I came across the hat. For sentimental reasons, I put it on. Well, for one reason or another, I became distracted and forgot that I had put it on. I even went out campaigning that day wearing it and no one said anything to me. It was only when I got home that night that I realized that the Hat was still on my head. Angry, I called up Jill and demanded to know why she let me make speeches wearing this hat. She said, and I'll never forget the sound of confusion in her voice, 'What hat?' "At that moment, the evening news came on highlighting some of my remarks that day. When they showed me speaking, there didn't appear to be anything on my head. But I looked in the mirror and there it was! I was completely bewildered and relayed this to Jill. Wisely she made the suggestion that we keep this to ourselves for the time being. "The next day the polls came out and I was "magically" neck and neck with Weld. I decided to conduct a little experiment over the following weeks. When not wearing the hat, I would slip in the polls but I would gain when I did. This hat won me that election and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise." Shrum was visibly agitated. "You're serious about this?" "How do you think I won the primaries over Dean and all the favorable media coverage he had? Do you believe that infamous scream of his was just a coincidence? I've talked to Howard about that. He has no idea how that came out of his mouth. He told me it was as if someone else had taken control over him. I know what it was: it was the hat. It makes things happen." One of the advisors was aghast. "This is insane! Believing in a magic hat is like believing in the tooth fairy or leprechauns." "Leprechauns!" Kerry snorted, "if only I had some of them! Someday maybe Mary-Beth can tell you the real source of the Kennedy fortune or the reason they keep winning elections." Feeling all eyes turning on her in wonder, Cahill said, "Sorry, I can't. That wouldn't be ethical." Kerry saw that his staff's nerves were frayed by his revelation and tried to allay their concerns. "Look, I know this is a lot to take in. But you have to believe in the hat. Trust me, when we're standing victorious on November 2nd, you'll be glad you did. "Now go on and grab a drink somewhere. You've earned it. I hear that there's even a beer called Magic Hat. See," he said to his cultural advisor, "I have been keeping up with my studies. "And relax," Kerry said pointing to where the hat supposedly rested on his head, "tonight, our campaign, and the nation are well in hand." While Cahill and Alder decided to stay for a moment alone with the Senator, the rest of the staff, trying to look like they were merely leaving and not fleeing, quickly exited the suite and ran to the nearest bar where many a "toast" was made to the magic hat. In a way, some of the advisors never left that bar. A staff member reflected on the internal damage caused. "After what many of us call 'The Day of the Hat', it was never the same. I mean we just couldn't look at the man the way we used to. And that effect showed up in the poll numbers. People who were later replaced were actually relieved and those who stayed on found their own ways to cope. I pretty much stayed drunk for the remainder of the campaign."
Posted by Skayhan at 06:24 PM | Comments (0)
March 15, 2005
Over the Lips and Past the Gums
(Editor's note: This was originally posted on Feb 27th.)From the forthcoming book, At Least I Got Paid: An Insider's Perspective on the Kerry Campaign for President, ASVS-HN is proud to present the following excerpt:
Chapter 2: Amongst the Heathen
Before John Kerry hit the primary campaign trail, his handlers felt some education on the customs and traditions of the American people would be to his benefit. A studious man, Kerry made swift progress in the program learning about such things as coupons, flannel, parking meters, and sports; real sports. Of course, he faired better in some subjects than others."Ahh beer!" Kerry said in apparent recognition of the word. Yet his gaze remained warily fixated on the 12oz container, as if half-expecting it to suddenly throttle him. The instructor, having seen this numerous times before, simply waited for the penny to drop. He had long since learned to allow Kerry a period of adjustment to new stimuli. Surreptitiously, he glanced to his watch as the seconds ticked by in silence. Any moment now, the Kerry advisor thought. "What does it do?" "It doesn't do anything," he frowned briefly. He had to give it to the Senator, his questions were nuanced. "Well, actually it does. You see it..." "Provides a source of cheap, low emission, renewable energy?" the presidential hopeful suggested eagerly. "No. And depending on the brand, definitely not low emission." "There are different brands of this...beer?" "Correct. The main breakdown of beer would be to divide the brands into domestic and imported beer." "We import beer from other countries?" "Yes, some are quite popular, but let us return to...." "I understand. Your showing me that America is perfectly capable of producing this...beer," Kerry found that repeating new words helped make them sound more natural if he was unexpectedly required to use them, "but because of Bush's poor trade policies, foreign competitors have gained a foothold in the marketplace, pushing up our trade deficit to record numbers, and leading to higher unemployment as American companies outsource production of beer to countries where it would be cheaper for them to make while the greedy corporate giants receive a fat tax cut for hurting the working American." The advisor steepled his hands as he touched the bridge of his nose as he realized that this was to be a most difficult lesson. "No," he stated firmly. "No?" Kerry's brow furrowed in thought. "No," he gently repeated. "Now I'm confused." "That's all right. Confusion is natural and to be expected at a time like this. We got way ahead of ourselves here. So let's go back to what beer is. Beer, simply put, is an achoholic beverage popular with the American people." "So you drink it." Noting that it was a statement and not a query, the advisor knew he should seize the momentum and quickly move to the more difficult phase of the day's lesson. "I would like you to drink that beer." "Now?" there was fear at the edge of that voice, "but there are no glasses." "You won't need one." Incredulous, Kerry asked, "You mean I'm to drink this directly from the bottle? With my lips? Barbaric!" A stern voice answered, "Mister Kerry, if you want to be accepted by the people of this nation whom you wish to serve as the next President of the United States, you must appear to understand them and relate to their culture. If you learn nothing else today, you must realize that sometimes you must do the difficult things; actions that you would normally find abhorrent, such as this, in order to attain your goals. Now pick up that bottle and drink the beer!" Ever the good student, without hesitation, Kerry did as he was instructed. His face screwing up as the bitter brew passed over his tongue and down his throat. Abruptly placing the bottle back on the table, Kerry breathed deeply and quickly as if he had been drowning. "Did....I...do..it...all...right." "Yes, yes, you did fine," the advisor assured him, "but I need you to do it again." "Already?" "Listen to me closely. This is important. This means something." Kerry nodded in acquiescence. "And this time try to control your expression so it looks like your enjoying your beer." An hour and a half later, Kerry had managed to finish his first beer. He had even gotten to the point where it appeared as if he didn't hate it which, as far as the advisor was concerned, was great progress. Acting on impulse, he summoned the campaign manager, Mary-Beth Cahill. "What do you have scheduled for tonight?" We have a rally in Steubenville and before that a photo-op with some steel workers." "Perfect," and turning to the Senator asked, "Do you feel up to drinking a beer in public in front of a camera... Mr. President?" It never hurt to appeal to Kerry's ambition. "I'll do what it takes to gain the trust of the American people," he stated firmly.
But nothing presented more of a challenge to his advisors than acclimating the soon-to-be Presidential Nominee to America's adult beverage of choice. "What is it?" Kerry asked, eyeing the brown bottle on the table before him with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. "A bottle of beer," his teacher explained evenly. Afterward, Cahill approached the advisor for his impression of Kerry's performance. "Not bad," he surmised, "Not great, but passable. Of course, tomorrow may be even more difficult." "Why?" Cahill asked, "what are you covering tomorrow?" "Draft beer."
Posted by Skayhan at 09:10 PM | Comments (0)
March 13, 2005
Drinking is NOT a Right
(The following is a bit of a rant)
Neither the U.S. Constitution nor any of the 50 state constitutions include the line "the rights of an individual to imbibe alcoholic beverages shall not be infringed." In fact, states have sole regulatory power over intoxicating liquors (via the 21st Amendment) and often set stringent policies on who can be served. These include widely-known laws such as individuals must be a certain age (almost nationally 21) and not already intoxicated.
But not as well known is that besides being at least 21 years old, you must be able to prove it via a valid piece of identification. Even lesser known is that regardless of age, most states require identification to be provided when attempting to be served an alcoholic beverage.
Tavern and liquor store owners are also given wide discretion over serving a person even when they satisfy all the above conditions.
To sum up today's Civics lesson, this means that when your 30 year-old dumb ass bellies up to the the bar and you come off with an attitude when your ID is requested, roll your blood-shot eyes while the odor of your "natural high" wafts gently through the air (much like a wet fart in church after an all night eating frenzy courtesy of Tom's Taco Takeout would), slap down a piece of plastic with more duct tape on it than my old '76 Dodge Dart , or politely ask, "Now give me a fuckin' Lon Gisland Ice Tea," guess what?
You're not going to get a damn thing.
Also, if your girlfriend wasn't served and you were, passing a drink to her will get you, her, and everyone else you're with booted (nevermind the fact that you had a bottle of Paul Mason Brandy hidden at the table with you). And if that's the sort of "oppression" that makes you and your peoples [sic] want to start a riot in an establishment by rushing up behind the manager to strike her with a large Weiss goblet (18oz, 3.1 lbs. empty), throwing fists at the employees of the bar trying to stop you from leaving the premises with alcoholic beverages, throwing said drinks while screaming profanities and racial epithets, you need to grow the hell up.
Do you really consider the county lock-up the finishing touch to a successful night on the town? The phrase "dumber than dirt" doesn't even begin to cover it.
And don't even get me started on featured bout of the evening: Super Hood versus Mega Redneck.
-Phil (still finding pieces of glass on his person)
Posted by Skayhan at 10:57 AM
March 11, 2005
HR 1121: Repeal of the Byrd Amendment
From Yahoo NewsWASHINGTON, March 10 /PRNewswire/ -- Members of the Consuming Industries Trade Action Coalition (CITAC) applauded Reps. Jim Ramstad (R-MN) and Clay Shaw (R-FL) for their introduction of HR 1121 that would repeal the "Continued Dumping and Subsidy Offset Act," commonly referred to as the "Byrd Amendment."The Byrd Amendment has been used as a protectionist tariff against foreign products, most notably Canadian lumber. Besides its failure to justify the duties under NAFTA and to the WTO, a CBO report from last year found that the Byrd Amendment "has an overall negative effect on the U.S. economy by encouraging the filing of dumping and countervailing duty cases and discouraging settlements". (21 ITR 452, 3/11/04) President Bush has also included a request to repeal the amendment in his 2005 Budget submitted to Congress. Aside from ending a true case of corporate welfare (which in the case of soft lumber imports "essentially amounts to a 20 percent federal tax on consumers") ending the Dumping and Subsidy Offset Act will go a long way to easing the trade tensions between the US and Canada which led to this outburst by Canadian MP Marlene Jennings:
" Let's embarrass the hell out of the Americans in front of other countries that they are attempting to negotiate with on new binational trade agreements," she said then. Later, she added that the United States might find it difficult if Canada lets it be known that it is having trouble with the Americans on a number of trade fronts. "They want to expand their markets and other countries are going to be leery if they see that America's best trading partner, closest neighbour, is saying, 'We're having problems getting the United States to respect this [free-trade] agreement.'"While inflammatory, her comments are not without merit. How can the US promote itself as a nation of free trade when laws such as the Byrd Amendment are allowed to continue in direct opposition to NAFTA? But don't expect the person whose name is attached to this law to support the repeal if the Senator's response to last year's CBO report is any indication:
"I take strong exception to the CBO report's implication that, in the face of unfair trade practices, American companies should give foreign competitors the keys to their U.S. shops, kick U.S. workers to the curb, and wave goodbye with a wistful sigh." ...Byrd asked that the entire report be formally withdrawn.It's sad that Senator Byrd apparently views Canada as the "Great Satan" of trade. I wonder what the chances of the Byrd Amendment being repealed would be if Byrd's fellow Democratic Senator, John Kerry, had been elected to the Presidency? Consider Kerry's statement when the WTO ruling on the Byrd Amendment was handed down in August, 2004:
Once again, the Bush administration failed to stand up for American companies and workers at the WTO, and as a result, unfair trade practices are hurting our economy and middle-class families.I'd have put the odds for repeal under President Kerry at roughly diddly/squat. And yet, Kerry was the hoped-for candidate in Canada. Go figure. I'm sure that despite the fact the bill to repeal the Byrd Amendment was introduced by Republicans and that Democrats, such as Kerry and Byrd, will line up to oppose it, some will still place the blame for the trade woes with Canada on the Republicans in general and President Bush specifically. Update: Here's an article reprinting a March 7th Chicago Tribune column. This concentrates on the pork industry rather than lumber and American companies cashing in on the Byrd Amendment:
Last year the Commerce Department rejected the notion that Canada illegally subsidizes its hog farmers, but nevertheless set preliminary duties on live hogs from Canada at 13 percent to 15 Percent. Commerce promised to review that decision this week.And just look at the terrible hardship it's suffering because of those evil Canadians:
Consider this: Smithfield Foods, the nation's top U.S. hog and pork producer, reported Tuesday that its latest quarterly profit had doubled compared with the previous year because hog prices and exports have surged. If that constitutes being harmed by Canada, maybe Smithfield should ask for a second helping, please.Quite.
Posted by Skayhan at 10:30 AM | Comments (0)