A.S.V.S Headline News "All the disco that's fit to dance to"

Prolouge:

On the Death Star II, Luke lies crouched on the floor, force lightning ripping through his body. The blasts suddenly stop. The Emperor comes closer and leers over his victim.

Emperor: Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand. [screams from more dark power] Now young Skywalker, you will... [tears off his dark robe revealing a brilliant white flared polyestor leisure suit] Jive!

He sticks his arm up and suddenly the chamber is alive with music and flashing lights. The floor beneath the Emperor transforms into a mulit-colored flashing platform as he begins to disco .

Luke is silent as he comes to his feet, bewildered as he watches the display. Yoda never prepared me for this, he thinks to himself, the Dark Side is even more seductive than he said.

Emperor: Dance boy! Let it aaaaaalllll come out! [begins subtle pelvic thrusts]

Luke, uncertain what to do, begins doing the Macarena.

Emperor: No boy! Disco! Disco is life!!! That's it, use the hips. He holds his pointed finger straight up in the air and shakes it as he slowly turns around spraying force lightning thoughout the chamber.

Outside the battlestation, the raging battle pauses as the hulls of the vessels reverberate with the intoxicating beat.

Lando: That music's coming from the Death Star.... that thing is.... happening..  cracks open a Colt .45 and begins dancing in the Millennium Falcon as scantily clad women jump out of the hidden storage bays to join him.

Admiral Ackbar: We heard it. All craft, prepare to strut.

All thru the fleet, Imperial Officers toss off their hats and begin to hustle. Rebel commandos and Stormtroopers on the forest moon of Endor move in perfect choreography as they point to the nearly completed disco ball glittering in the sky, down, and back again. 

Across the galaxy on Tatooine, Cloud City, and Coruscant countless multitudes get down and funky.

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