A.S.V.S Headline News
"All the spam that's fit to print"

07/19/00

It is a dark time for the Newsgroup. Although the U-FAQ
has been destroyed, Dementia troops have assailed the
Shrine of the FAQ and are committed to driving it from the
land of ASVS and supplanting it with the NRWD.

Defending against the dreaded Dementia Logical Fallacies,
a group of intelligent debaters led by Charles Sonnenburg
has established a new standard of mockery in the posting
of "MiSTing: NRWD".

The insane lord Paul Jacques H. Jr, obsessed with destroying
the FAQ, has posted thousands of lines of unintelligable babble
into the far reaches of the internet....

The posting of the NRWD has caused quite a commotion amongst the NG regulars. In general, the reception to it has been negative:

People, don't let Paul fool you. Go to http://asvs.org for the real FAQs of ASVS life. You'll be glad you did. -iceberg3k

A holy war between Paul and intelligence! -pablo_sanchez2000

Paul apparently didn't spend enough time in that Spaarti cylinder...an insane clone of TOWNMNBS... -Dalton

The NRWD requires no education, science knowledge, English skills, cogency or cohesiveness. -Matthew Hyde

The current administration of ASVS has taken no official action against Paul Jacques H. Jr....yet.   However, Rules and Regulations Maintainer L. Kynes issued the following statement:

As the official Rules maintainer, I feel it necessary to point out to all bona fide
newbies that this is not a document by which it is legal to argue under in ASVS.
... like you couldn't already tell.

Paul Jacques H. Jr responded to the critics in a press conference later that day:

It is your opinion. And I respect that. So from now on, don't reply to it. IF you have the WILL power to do so.

Many people have noted, however, that the will power required to ignore the "ramblings" of Paul is equal to the will power nessasary to ignore a herd of pink elephants in tutus dancing a ballet on your front lawn.

Other News

Chuck Sonnenburg invited members of ASVS to write their very own "Voyager Opinionated Episode Guide" of "Blink of an Eye" which aired on Wednesday evening. Fans of this column eagerly await to see if excerpts from their writings will make it to the the final edited article on sfdebris.com. So far, entries have been recieved from Aron Kerkhof, Cyborg Stan,  and Phil Skayhan. Alex Moon, while not writing a full critique, had one biting critisism: Why were they (the aliens) writing in english? Come on guys, that is just plain lack of trying.

The Cleaners have been showcasing many of their new vessels, boasting of greater speed, armaments, and defensive capabilities. Other highlights of the tour were the in-flight theater, the jacuzzi, and the salad bar complete with a wide selection of low-fat dressings. Available models include the Coupe S and the Eddie Bauer Limited Edition.

DMVTREK contiues to hock his wares on ASVS in a bid to enter the Hall of Losers.

The Sith battles the Valar in a somewhat off topic debate with the current odds in favor of ̉lorin.

Today's Quote

Kynes is the Devil -Goomba, a Spacebattles "baby"

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