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Exclusive Sneak Peek from the AotC Script

[Fade in - Along a narrow causeway, five figures traverse. Ahead of them they see a derelict bridge overhanging a smoke-filled chasm.]

Obi-wan: There it is! The Bridge of Death!

Anakin: Oh great...

Obi-Wan: Look, there's the little green runt from scene 24.

Padme: What's he doing here?

Obi-Wan: He is the keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks each traveler five questions....

Padme: Three questions

Obi-Wan: ...three questions. He who answers the five questions...

Padme: Three questions.

Obi-Wan: ...three questions... may cross in safety.

Anakin: What if you get a question wrong?

Obi-Wan: Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.

Anankin: Well, I won't go.

Obi-Wan: Who's going to answer the questions? Jar-Jar!

Jar-Jar: Yessum?

Obi-Wan: Brave Jar-Jar, you go.

Jar-Jar: Ehh, mesa haven a good idea. Why doesn Mace Windu agoin?

Mace Windu: Yeah, let me Obi baby. I'll ice that punk single-handed. I'll bitch-slap that mofo...

Obi-Wan: No no hang on....just answer the five questions...

Padme: Three questions.

Obi-Wan: ...three questions as best you can. We will watch and meditate.

Mace Windu: I got ya.

Obi-Wan: Good luck brave Jedi Mace Windu. May the Force be with you!

[Windu approaches small green creature standing ominously before the bridge.]

Creature: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three...ere the other side he see.

Windu: Shut the fuck up ask the goddamn questions!

Creature: What is your name?

Windu: My name? I'll tell you what my name is. Mace Windu, Jedi Master, council member, and all around bad motherfucker. So you betta recognize!

Creature: What is your quest?

Windu: To find those sith scum and pop a cap in tha ass!

Creature: What is the color of your lightsabre?

Windu: Pimp daddy purple.

Creature: Right, off you go.

Windu: Oh, thank you. [crosses bridge]

Jar-Jar: Mesa says dats easy! [runs up to bridge]

Creature: Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three...ere the other side he see.

Jar-Jar: Mesa nota fraid. whatta yous question?

Creature: What...is you name?

Jar-Jar: Mesa Jar-Jar Binks!

Creature: What is your quest?

Jar-Jar: Mesa seek da sith.

Creature: What will be Anakin's son's middle name?

Jar-Jar: Mesa don know that...[is instantly whisked into the air and cast screaming in the abyss]

[The others look at each other and try unsuccessfully not to smile. Then finally one approaches the bridgekeeper.]

Creature: Stop! What is your name?

Anakin: Padawan Anakin Skywalker.

Creature: What is your quest?

Anakin: To seek and destroy the sith.

Creature: What....is the color of your lightsabre?

Anakin: Red. No..blu Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [is also cast into the gulf]

Creature: Stop! What is your name.

Obi-Wan: It is Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight.

Creature: What is your quest?

Obi-Wan: I seek the Sith Lord.

Creature: What...will be the number of Rebel ships at the Battle of Endor?

Obi-Wan: What do you mean? In the original or special edition?

Creature: Uhh.. I don't know that...Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! [Creature is cast into the chasm]

[Padme and Obi-Wan begin to cross the bridge.]

Padme: How do you know so much about Endor?

Obi-Wan: Well, you have to foresee these things when you're a Jedi you know.

[End scene]