A.S.V.S Headline News "Red lights do not concern me!"

TRThe Meeting

Penn Station, NYC - Saturday May 18, 2002  8:10 AM Phil stepped of the platform and moved along with the crowd toward the exit ramp and into the main terminal. Furtively glancing over his shoulder from time to time, he headed quickly toward the 8th St exit where his contacts were supposed to meet him. Phil was not comfortable doing this in such an open setting but, circumstances being what they were, it was their only viable option. As he reached the stairs leading up to the streets, he caught sight of three men waiting there. Ever wary of a trap laid by the agents of El Boydo, he approached the group and prepared to give the code phrase. Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me with something? The tallest of the three turned to him and in an English accent replied, "Yes?" "Are Watts and Joules interchangable?" "According to my professor, they are essentially the same," said one who was clearly American. "Thanks ever so," said Phil finishing the prearranged exchange. Handshakes were given as the introductions were made.

"I'm Rob Wilson," said Rob, "This is Lee Atkins and of course that would make this Greg Burnett."

"Great to meet all of you finally. Do you have the package?"

"Of course," said Lee, "How could we forget."

Rob reached into his backpack and produced a long white box and handed it to Phil. Closely regarding the contents, a smile came to Phil's lips.

"Well?" asked Greg, "What do you think?"

Phil shrugged slightly and said, "Entemann's chocolate covered donuts? Dalton will be pleased."

Just then, a loud comotion broke out on the far side of the terminal. It was difficult to see through the crowd what was occuring, but one cry cut cleanly through the historic building: "For the peoples!"

Rob swiftly stashed the box back in his bag and urged the group toward the exit, "We have to move, it's no longer safe here."

-----------------------------------

And so began something unprecedented in ASVS: an actual gathering of denizens from the group. Why? to see Attack of the Clones. (duh)

First to begin their journey were Rob Wilson and Lee Atkins who left Heathrow Airport Thursday morning. Next, on Friday afternoon, Greg Burnett hopped into his spacious car and left the state of Maryland bound for JFK to pick up two jet-lagged travellers. After a night of overpriced food and drink, the trio settled down in their NYC hostel for a good nights sleep in anticiaption of the morrow. Saturday morning....well that's already been exaggerated with the exception that it was pouring out and I did not have an umbrella as I ran through Hoboken for the train into Penn Station. I should have driven in...

Over breakfast, we began to get to know the people behind the posters. Of course, we talked about the newsgroups and some of the more colorful people and events. Let me tell you, it is far better to see and hear the laughter in person as it is contagious. It was also decided at this McDonalds that Chuck should become a syndicated columnist.

Then it was into Greg's car and out to Long Island to meet up with the Master of the FUQ, none other than Rob Dalton. As we pulled up in front of his home, Rob greeted us and accepted our tribute. Unfortunately, that's were things suddenly went sour.

"We have a problem," Rob said looking into the box, "Someone ate my donuts!"

Three of the group instantly pointed and said, "It was Wilson!"

"You lying bastards! We all had a donut!"

Ahhh, how quickly we were becoming good friends.......

Photo by Dalton

We soon moved off to see the movie. While we sat in the theater waiting for the start of the film, we continued to share our favorite moments from ASVS. Sadly, our discussion of favorite quotes from Strowbridge was cut short as a groups of small children sat in front of us. The lights went down, the show began, and what a film it was!

What I learned from AotC

Skayhan  
I learned that Dalton doesn't believe in red lights when he's driving.

That Yoda moves like a chipmunk on crack.

That meeting people from ASVS is nowhere near as awkward as it might seem. (Unless you've neglected to add their "first post" to ASVS-HN in which case you're subjected to whining and crying)

That Lurker isn't just a screen name; it's a way of life.

That Anakin should have kept his hands above the covers when dreaming about his mom.

That parking in Hoboken sucks.

That picking out people from ASVS is easy even when in Penn Station.

That TGI Friday's employs idiots the world over.

That a sizeable chunk of England will blow up if the conditions are right.

That my favorite quote was: "Don't let my mom feed you" - Dalton

Dalton
I learned to not trust these fuckers with any donut.

That everyone's uglier in person.

That you people aren't used to New York drivers.

Wilson
That doubling the prescription of your medication but only taking the required number along for the prescription amount leads to a very
uncomfortable flight home.

That I managed to not raise any of the points I originally wanted to when I left the UK.

That American Cinema seats piss all over UK ones.

That not only are NY taxi cabs immune to the laws of the road, but also the laws of Physics (how else can they appear out of nowhere when there was only emtpy road before?)

That Natalie Portman in a Buck Rogers outfit is SEX!

That being the one to carry donuts means your life is forfeit.

That Lee and Vinnie were separated at birth.

That young, hot stewardesses on the inbound flight means old, frumpy ones on the outbound one.

That Jamiacan Greyhound Bus Drivers can cover a given distance faster than a Mad Marine in a Saturn.

That I'm really out of practice with sword/staff weapons useage.

That Greg's sister has some strange ideas about what Harry and chums get up  to in Hogwarts.

That I should have said fuck it and stayed overnight in Baltimore as I was really starting to enjoy myself, plus winding up the waitress's was fun.

That Dalton is as great a guy in person as he is on the NG.

That Kat is nowhere near as scary as I was led to believe.

That Washington is /below/ New York (hey you want good looks and geographical awareness?)

That my legs really can perfectly reflect light, especially flashbulbs on cameras.

That Mexican beer tastes better with Limes.

That when in doubt I should ask myself "What would Brian Boytano do?".

That Cows are a cunning and dangerous animal.

That my ability to speak nonsense for 24hrs a day is severely hampered by pharmaceutical products - as opposed to the previously held belief that it was caused by them.

That accidentally having my babe magnet set to repel is not conducive to sex.

That Star Wars is such a part of my life that I can ID George Lucas in 1 split second scene from just the top of his head.

That Computer shooting games and real-life are not the same thing.

That arranging a definite meeting point is always a good idea.

That American Sports cars are a reverse Tardis; exponentially bigger on the outside than on the inside.

That Dalton doesn't trust me to be toilet-trained.

That if you are going to take a camera, using it could possibly help.

That crack is now legal, tastes of mint, and is available in plastic strip form.

That American trains are stupidly over priced compared to their buses.

That it's possible to give directions from the rear car of a convoy.

That pestering Phil successfully means I can't pester him again.

That "Train Information" in American train stations is an oxymoron.

That I really wish we could have gotten more people there and made a proper weekend of it.

That not refilling Greg's coffee cup within milliseconds of it being emptied, means no tip.

That coffee can be bought by the boxload.

That chatting up a on-duty female NYPD at 2am is only allowed if she thinks your accent is cute.

That it's weird to hear Americans say "BDZ".

That by not finishing telling a story, Greg's parents probably think I never finished school and that degrees are really easy to get in the UK. :-)

That renting a car from out of state is a must if I want to get away with driving like a lunatic and ignore local road laws.

That people will mount 20 inch alloy rims on a 4X4 ?????

That "big Iron Bridges" can be really satisfying to say for no real reason.

That two people that would be happy to eat unbelievable crud mixed together in a mess tin, are particular eaters when presented food on a proper plate.

That Yoda pinball would be the best game ever!

That Robert is a really common name amongst my circle of friends.

That in a city of McDonalds I can find the Only one that doesn't do free drink Refills.

That the film could be dractically improved in the black humour department with a single dropping head at the right moment.

Atkins
Ok, I have seen the inside's of two American homes, where are the fuckin big TV's you folks are all supposed to own?

The back of a Saturn is not the ideal place to store a persons who is over six feet tall! (I refer to Greg's dented roof)

Some people can be even funnier in the flesh, I'm mailing your clothes back this weekend Phil.

It's expensive to call in sick from another country when you don't have any more available holidays to take off.

And if they ask how sick you are don't tell them you are in bed with your 12 year old sister.

Burnett
I learned that red lights are just as good as green lights when following Dalton

I learned that Jedi with purple lightsabers are Shaftastic.

I learned no trip is complete without at least 4 U-bies.


I'd like to add a special thanks to Dalton's family for their hospitality, Dalton for getting the tickets, and Greg for hauling my butt to and from Penn Station. It was great to meet all of you and I had an enjoyable day.

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